Slow is Fast for HSPs

No matter what type of challenges my *SMART* Highly Sensitive clients (HSP) face, I can always count on them to approach decision-making in a responsible, conscientious manner. The desire for excellence enables them to navigate choppy water, sometimes without a compass.  

“A ship is safe in harbor, but that’s not what ships are built for.”  – John A. Shedd

HSPs value growth and improvement. They see with visionary eyes the possibilities others can’t. They want to reach for the stars. It’s part of their DNA.

At the same time, HSPs are wired to take safety precautions. They may not venture out as boldly as non-HSPs. They look for the rocks below the waterline that might tear a hole in the bottom of the boat. They want to proceed with caution, yet another part says, “Hurry up, let’s go! You’re wasting time.”

HOW HSPs approach this dilemma determines whether they will thrive or wilt while striving for their goals.

Like most high-achievers in our culture, HSPs believe that FAST is better. We’re conditioned for fast food and the need to finish work quickly. We need to give fast answers, and we feel guilty for asking for time to think before we speak. We’re supposed to recover from sickness and stress rapidly.

“Fast is Best” is unhealthy for HSPs.

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The problem with the “Fast is Best” approach is this:

1.    The drive for perfectionism generates anxiety. HSPs can act like a cat on a hot tin roof. Stress drains your body, mind, and soul. Chronic fatigue and disrupted sleep can become a normal way of life. Dragging yourself through the day is not high-quality life. It’s not healthy and leads to disease and premature death.

2.    When you go fast in therapy sessions (or in life), you can’t get to the root of the issues that need healing. You just chop off the weeds at the top instead of pulling them up by the roots. It’s common for a new client to complain that therapy isn’t moving fast enough.

3.    It’s difficult to receive spiritual insight and wisdom when you’re rushing through your day, traveling at the speed of light.

If you push yourself too far, too fast, short-term consequences of stress arise:

• Increased heart rate and blood pressure
• Muscle tension and pain
• Headaches
• Fatigue
• Upset stomach, nausea, or diarrhea
4. Weakened immune system
5. Increased risk of infection

Left unchecked, long-term consequences of stress surface:

Physical Effects:
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Increased risk of cardiovascular disease, (e.g., heart attack, stroke)
• Elevated blood pressure
• Increased cholesterol and triglyceride levels
• Weakened immune system, leading to more frequent infections
• Digestive issues (e.g., ulcers, irritable bowel syndrome)
• Muscle tension and pain
• Increased risk of obesity

Mental Health Effects:
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Anxiety and depression
• Difficulty concentrating and making decisions
• Irritability and mood swings
• Insomnia and sleep disturbances
• Increased risk of substance abuse
• Cognitive decline and memory problems

Other Effects:
• 

Reduced fertility
• Increased risk of chronic diseases, (e.g., diabetes, cancer)
• Impaired ability to cope with future stressors
• Increased risk of accidents and injuries

One of my clients expected us to make quicker progress for several months. I reminded her many times that “Slow is Fast.” After she experienced slowing down in therapy sessions so she could dive deep, she grasped what I was talking about. She felt the shifts in her body-mind in a more profound way than ever before.

She wrote this poem and gave me permission to share it with you. Her reflection beautifully captures the wisdom of slowing down.

Introduction to the Poem

When I was little, it seemed the grown-ups were often rushing here and there, saying, “Hurry up!” Then in school, I was praised for reaching grade two faster by skipping over grade one. I got applause and red ribbons for my quick running and swimming. I came to believe “Fast Is Best.” I have been rushing my whole life towards an imaginary finish line that promised accomplishment. Then I discovered the value of going slow, a faster way to reach a truly satisfying destination called FLOW. Here’s my poem.

Go Slow to Flow

Going slow
Takes me to flow
I “get there” faster
In flow
Now I know

Slow → Flow = Faster (than rushing)

Slow is where learning happens
Things sink in and stay

Slow gets the job done
One step at a time
Little by little

Slow is strong
Slow is calm
Slow is steady
Slow is confident
Slow is relaxed

Slow makes things FUN!

Slow is where creativity is
Slow is where answers are
Slow is where you find things
Slow is where you can “get it right”

Slow brings my focus online
Slow is finally breathing

Slow is where coordination is
Slow is where beauty is
Slow is where God is.

Fast is hard
Slow is easy

Fast is less
Slow is more

Fast is in the dark
Slow is in the light

Fast is competitive
Slow is winning

Fast is video games
Slow is poetry

Fast is too much
Slow is plenty

Fast is convenience
Slow is for generations

Fast is painful
Slow feels good

Fast is spending
Slow is investing

Fast forgets
Slow remembers

Fast is technology
Slow is nature

Fast makes burnout
Slow makes boundaries

Fast is bossy
Slow is sovereignty

Fast divides
Slow brings together

Fast is hungry
Slow is full

Fast is skimming
Slow is depth

Slow is where you
Taste more
Smell more
Feel more
Hear more
Notice more
Know more

Fast is multitasking
Slow is focused

Fast is confusion
Slow is understanding

Fast is clenching
Slow is letting go

Fast is chaos
Slow is order

Fast is separation
Slow is integration

Fast is junk food
Slow is satiating

Fast is treading water
Slow is surfing

Fast strives
Slow receives

Fast is dissociated
Slow is embodied

Fast is stuck
Slow is growth

Fast is lonely
Slow is connection

If you’re still
“Not there yet”
Set your destination
To Flow.

Find “Godspeed” in your settings.
Switch it on.

– K.R. 8/26/2025

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As you reflect on the author’s words, consider what it might feel like to give yourself permission to slow down — in therapy, in healing, and in life.

Deep transformation doesn’t happen in a rush. It unfolds in stillness, in softness, and in safety. If you’re willing to go slow, you might just discover how fast true healing can begin.

If you’re a highly sensitive introvert longing for deeper healing, I invite you to explore what slow, intentional therapy can offer you. Feel free to reach out with questions or schedule a consultation. I’d be honored to walk alongside you at your pace.

*SMART* = Spiritual, Mature, Authentic, Responsible, Trustworthy

CONTACT INFORMATION

Benita A. Esposito is a spiritual counselor, life coach, licensed professional counselor, and ordained minister. Please complete the Contact form to get in touch.

Benita’s bestselling book, The Gifted Highly Sensitive Introvert, can be found on Amazon. She spots psychological patterns to reach the bottom line so you don’t waste precious time. She follows a grace-filled Christian path that honors all faiths. For fun, she grows beautiful flower gardens. She loves to hike through forests to waterfalls. Her inner shutterbug shot most of the photos on this website.