My highly sensitive clients tell me that they want to show up as their Authentic Selves, but it’s difficult for them. Why?
They want to please people and not ruffle feathers. They shy away from conflict. HSPs are empathic. We can feel what other people feel. We spend a lot of time predicting how people will react. When we think they’ll be upset, we don’t express our genuine feelings. We’re not sure how to share our uncomfortable emotions in a tactful way. If others feel bad, then we’ll feel bad. We want to keep the peace.
Can you relate to this?
There’s nothing wrong with pleasing people, except when we lose ourselves in the process.
Sometimes we are so tuned into other people that we don’t know what WE feel or think or desire. We’re good listeners (except when we’re triggered), and we ask questions to understand other people. Often, they don’t reciprocate and conversations become one-sided. Sometimes we absorb others’ feelings, and we don’t know that we’re merged with them. If they’re upset, we’re upset. We don’t seem to have a choice. Long after the conversation is over, we’re still processing what happened. We feel unsettled when the non-highly sensitive person feels fine.
With so much empathy and focus on other people, we find it difficult to stand up for ourselves and make clear requests for our needs to be met. We hesitate to tell people when we feel hurt or irritated. We might be afraid their feelings will be hurt. They might get defensive, sarcastic, angry, or gossip about us behind our backs. We fear being yelled at or rejected.
As a result, we bottle up our feelings. We put on a happy face or we withdraw. Or, we give people advice and try to fix them and their problems. We feel burdened with responsibility.
After stuffing our feelings for a while, the pressure builds, and we spurt out words we might regret. We’re unsure how to repair the damaged relationship so that we can feel securely attached again. Anxiety brews.
Sometimes we swing from being non-assertive to aggressive because we don’t know how to be assertive in a tactful way.
Many highly sensitive people haven’t learned how to take care of themselves and skillfully create win-win solutions. We didn’t see this modeled in our family of origin, and no one taught us this at school.
If you want to develop the skill to express your feelings,
be your Authentic Self and
advocate for yourself in a tactful manner, join our
.Assertiveness Training Group for Highly Sensitive People.
Here are some of the things you can learn in the HSP Assertiveness Training group:
- Distinguish between assertiveness, aggressiveness, and non-assertiveness.
- Set appropriate boundaries to take care of yourself when others treat you unfairly.
- Advocate for yourself instead of tolerating unacceptable circumstances.
- Realize that you can’t change other people but you can make clear requests and feel good about yourself.
- Heal emotional wounds that led you to believe that you are undeserving.
- Neutralize fears of rejection, abandonment, or fear of others’ anger.
- Replace inappropriate guilt and shame with radical self-acceptance and self-worth.
- Experience a sense of wholeness that no one can take away from you.
- Deepen your spiritual connection and the ability to hear your Wise Self. (All spiritual paths are honored here.)
- Develop mindfulness skills to stay present with your own thoughts, feelings, and body.
- Be true to yourself. Stop losing yourself and wearing a mask.
- Communicate tactfully and respectfully to resolve conflicts so you both win.
The group agenda will be based on the needs of the participants. If you have other topics that you would like addressed, I’m all ears. I like to design groups and retreats based on the needs of my clients.
Who should attend
- People looking for their tribe of like-minded HSPs.
- All highly sensitive people: Introverts, extroverts, and ambiverts.
- HSPs eager to change their limiting life patterns so they express their Authentic Selves.
- They want to heal at depth so they can dig up the weeds by their roots.
- People who are coachable and want guidance from me.
- People who will be on time for meetings.
- They want to co-create a safe vibrant group including compassionate sharing without dominating the group.
Who should NOT attend
- People who drink excessively or use other recreational drugs, or have other addictions. Participants must be sober during group meetings.
- People who have suicidal thoughts or severe depression.
- People who may have panic attacks or other intense emotional reactions in the group that would require immediate individual therapy. This is a psycho-educational group, not a therapy group.
- People with borderline personality disorder, bipolar disorder or anyone else who might be disruptive or dominate the group.
WHEN: The dates will be decided after I receive the questionnaire from interested HSPs. I’ll do my best to accommodate as many people as possible.
SIZE OF THE GROUP: 4 – 8 people. Men and women are welcome.
- Complete a questionnaire to see if we are a good fit. Attendance is by invitation only.
- If your application is accepted, we’ll schedule a 10-minute Discovery Call.
- If we both think you are a good fit, you’ll attend an intake session on Zoom for 53 minutes. Please schedule this ASAP because my schedule is almost full.
- The intake session fee is $195 for a 53-minute individual session.
- If you are a resident of Georgia or North Carolina, you can use your Anthem BCBS insurance to pay for individual sessions but not for group sessions.
- Individual session fees are in addition to the group tuition.
HSP GROUP TUITION
$50 per meeting to be paid at one time (or two payments with an additional $15 processing fee).
If you miss a meeting, you can listen to the recording and discuss assignments with your study buddy.
RECOMMENDATION: Read my book to get to know me and decide if you want me to be your guide. The Gifted Highly Sensitive Introvert: Wisdom for Emotional Healing and Expressing Your Radiant Authentic Self is available on Amazon as an audiobook, paperback, and Kindle. It’s my highly sensitive introvert’s memoir with teaching stories and reflection questions.
Watch my book video, click here.
–> Please fill out the questionnaire on the Contact Page.
If you have questions about this HSP Group, please email me from the Contact Page.
I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Facilitator: Benita A. Esposito. Click here for credentials.
Chief Trail Guide for Highly Sensitive Introverts on the Hero’s Journey to the Authentic Self.
www.SensitiveIntrovert.com. Life Coaching and Spiritual Counseling