HSP Retreats: Transforming Trauma | Rhonda’s Story

Unbridled: Finding My Innermost Self

Rhonda (a pseudonym) attended individual counseling sessions for one year addressing her self-esteem, career, trauma, and relationships. She’d been making steady progress, and the groundwork was laid for a giant leap in the HSP Breathwork Retreat. You’ll hear the story in her own words. May it inspire your hero’s journey to your Authentic Self.

What You Will Discover in This Story

• Break Hidden Trauma Chains: Learn how to stop masking inner suffering with people-pleasing smiles so you can finally heal your body.
• Bypass Your Analytical Thoughts: Discover how dropping beneath your logical mind opens a safe path to process deep emotional pain.
• Embrace Your Authentic Self: Understand how a profound spiritual encounter with Jesus can restore your inner wholeness and clarity.

The Heavy Armor: Masking Pain with Social Grace

For many years, I stuffed away painful experiences and pretended like I was fine. I stored unwanted memories in an old chest, and covered it up with bright smiles and social graces so no one could see what was hidden inside.

Now, I understand how debilitating that was. In the book, The Body Keeps the Score, Bessel van der Kolk talks about how painful experiences imprint trauma on our bodies, and these experiences fester until we release them.

When I was in my twenties, I taught English as a Second Language overseas. My adventures brought a mixed bag of joy, loneliness, perseverance, and gut-wrenching pain. Trauma gripped me in a hostile take-over, dimming my view of myself, and how I thought others saw me. Shame kept my vulnerable parts hidden. 

By the time I reached my early thirties, I was tired of stuffing everything that ached, and my coping mechanism of “grinning and bearing it” could no longer contain the pain.

When I met Benita in July 2021, I was completely burned out. I was a shell of the person I used to be. There were times when I closed my eyes and wondered what happened to the naturally energetic person I once was. How had I become a person who was barely scraping by? 

I longed for the pure essence of my innermost self, and I knew that to find my Self, I needed to break the chains of trauma that were stored in my body. I was determined to penetrate every stuck layer inside of me.

The Breakthrough:
Meeting Divine Love in the Darkness

I wrote this after the breathwork session on the first day of the retreat.

.

Unbridled 

I revisited all my layers today, screaming and crying 

Many of these layers were pure darkness

I couldn’t see anything 

I reflected on this and came to the conclusion 

That the Holy Spirit was protecting me from scary visions 

things that I’ve seen but didn’t want to see

He knew I would be re-traumatized living out those experiences again

My body revealed to me where there was pain

I let go of the pain 

Every last drop 

I saw Jesus take my hands 

He held out his hands to me and I put my hands in His

He said

Can you trust me with your whole life?

I said

Yes, I trust you with my whole life

He said

Can you love yourself the way I love you?

I said

Yes

And for the first time, I realized I could love myself unconditionally

All the parts

All the bruises 

All the scars

Jesus showed me that I could love myself like that

And I cried and cried

I screamed and cried 

Jesus said

Can you give it all to me? Every part of you that hurts

I said 

Yes

And when I gave him everything I could that was a part of me 

He said

I am healing you 

You are healed 

You can start again 

And I laughed

I asked Jesus about my direction 

He pointed to the lit path in the forest 

Lights guiding my way 

He said

When you know, you will see

When I asked Jesus about my gifts 

He said

Dig for them – you need to dig for them

So with clawed fists, I dug and dug

I saw the treasures that were buried within me 

When I asked Jesus what my gifts were

He said

You’re a writer. I made you to be a writer

And then he told me my strengths 

Listener, Kindness, Compassion, and Empathy

These were just a few of the many he said

He made me feel whole

When we got to the beach 

He gave me a metallic box – a side-hinged metallic heart-shaped box

When I opened it up 

I saw a red heart – it looked like a Jello mold heart

He told me

This is your true heart

I realized then that the metallic heart was my armored heart

The heart that I showed the world

He said 

To shine your light, you need to show your true heart

I looked into His eyes 

And I felt loved for all of me.

Unlocking the Chest: A Body-Soul-Mind Detox

During the breathwork retreat, I unlocked the lid of that old chest. I invited each memory to emerge so it could be felt in the light of day and healed. The parts of my inner family that had been tarnished from years of trauma were restored and integrated. I felt like I had gone through a body-soul-mind detox. I felt cleansed and brand new. Made whole once again.

In the HSP Breathwork Retreat, I experienced immense healing and lightbulb moments with Benita’s teaching illustrations. They created the ideal framework with which to embark on my inner healing journey. With God’s help and Benita’s guidance, that is exactly what took place.

Breaking the Chains to Reclaim Your True Heart

About Benita A. Esposito

Healing, Growth & Mastery

“Chief Trail Guide,” for Highly Sensitive Introverts on the Hero’s Journey to the Authentic Self

Drawing on my rich background as a licensed psychotherapist in Georgia and North Carolina, I operate globally as an ordained minister, spiritual counselor, and life coach. I am also the author of the Amazon bestseller, The Gifted Highly Sensitive Introvert: Wisdom for Emotional Healing and Expressing Your Radiant Authentic Self.  I design emotionally intimate retreats and nurturing learning spaces to guide you toward deep emotional healing. Together, we move beyond the wounds to unlock your full creative potential, using the same transformative tools that changed my own life. By combining body-based healing like Brainspotting and Breathwork with a grace-filled Christian perspective, I help you quickly pinpoint limiting patterns so you can experience lasting inner peace without wasting precious time.

When I’m not working with clients online or leading retreats at my home overlooking a lake in the Blue Ridge Mountains, you can find me tending to my flower garden, rowing, or capturing the beauty of nature through my camera lens.

Watch my book video.

👉 Ready for your breakthrough? Schedule a Discovery Call to see if our upcoming HSP Retreats are the right fit for your journey.

Disclaimer: Benita A. Esposito, M.A., is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in Georgia, a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor (LCMHC) in North Carolina, and an ordained minister and spiritual counselor through the Association for the Integration of the Whole Person (AIWP). While retreat participants enter into a formal client relationship for life coaching and spiritual counseling, the workshops, virtual intensives, and retreats offered through this website are strictly educational, coaching, and spiritual in nature. These services do not constitute psychological diagnosis, clinical treatment, or traditional psychotherapy, and do not establish a psychotherapeutic therapist-client relationship. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis or require clinical mental health treatment, please consult a licensed professional in your local area.

Photo credits:  

• Chest bright blankets by jppi at Morguefile.com
• Benita’s photo: Alysia Hargus/Alysia Hargus Photography

“Your Authentic Life. Anything Else is a Compromise.”

Life Coaching and Spiritual Counseling for Sensitive Introverts
on the Hero’s Journey to the Authentic Self