Authentic Self – Adapted Self Diagram

You’ll find this diagram in chapter 4: Definition of the Authentic Self. I’ve included it here for those who are listening to the audiobook.

Click on the link below to download the PDF:

Authentic Self – Adapted Self Diagram

This will help you know when you are expressing your Authentic Self and when you are coming from your Adapted Self. As you develop more mastery, you’ll decrease anxiety and depression. You’ll feel more solid and whole. You’ll feel free to be your Authentic Self regardless of external circumstances.

The Healing Power of Presence ~ Bonus

Book Bonus for The Gifted Highly Sensitive Introvert

In one of my darker moments
I turn to you for help, Doctor #1.
I confide in you,
“I’d rather not be here on this planet.”
You say, “Maybe you made the wrong choice.”
I sullenly agree, “Maybe I did.”
You use your newest procedures.
“Maybe this one will work this time,”
I think to myself sarcastically.
I know you are sincere and you want to help.
But I don’t feel you connecting with me,
and I leave just as blasé as I entered.
I’ve been down this road so many times.

I turn to you, Doctor #2.
I confide in you,
“I’d rather not be here on this planet.”
You ask me to tell you more.
“Since the last time I saw you,
I’ve had more physical pain and more emotional pain.”
You test me and tell me that there is
a ton of emotional pain in my shoulder
and that it’s not going to get well if it’s treated just on a physical level.

You look deep into my soul through the window of my eyes,
and your eyes begin to tear as your voice cracks,
and you tell me about the emotional pain I’ve stored in my body since age seven.
You feel with me as tears stream down your face and mine.
You hold my hands in your hands,
and I hold yours in return.
You speak to me in a gentle, knowing, wise way as you focus on my dark interior.
You speak to me of your similar pain, and how you have done your own work
to meet your wounded child and to bring your wise adult self
into relationship with your inner children of many ages.

Again you speak to me of the pain of my 7-year-old who felt so lost and unloved by Mom.
She was so disconnected and afraid.
Despair is what you called it.

I told you about how many times I have visited this grief,
and how many times I have healed this very issue,
and how I am visiting it at yet another layer of insight and awareness.
You agree.

We entered the pain together, at depth, and with love.
You cried as we entered, feeling my pain in your body.

I trusted you.
You made it safer for me to feel my pain.

You opened a door.

You held me while

I sobbed

and cried

and breathed.

And then I was done crying.

And then I had no physical pain.

And then I knew I was truly loved.

And that helped me love myself more deeply.

In my body.
In my heart.
In my soul.

Grief is so hard sometimes.
So relentless.
Sometimes seeming to have no end.

Letting go is one step.
Another step is experiencing the bond between my own inner mother
and my inner child so my child’s needs are met.
This is an on-going process I started a long time ago.
Sometimes my inner child is very needy and she hurts very much,
Even after all these years of work.

And now I go deeper into the healing.
Deeper into the relationship with my inner mother and my inner child.

Dear doctor, your nurturing energy helped me heal in this half hour.
You have the ability to be so totally present with me
because you have done so much of your own healing work.
You have visited your own pain
and made friends with your own process of grieving.
You don’t have to run from me in my grief and sorrow and
treat me with techniques which further distance me from my pain.

I am so grateful for you because you connected with me so completely this day.

If you ever doubt yourself, like I sometimes do,
always remember that you made a big difference in my life today.

Many blessings to you,

My dear, doctor.

Benita A. Esposito

 

Benita-A.-Esposito,-MA,-Licensed-Professional-CounselorAuthor: Benita A. Esposito is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Georgia. She also provides services worldwide as a life coach and a spiritual counselor. In-person and videoconferences are available. Benita earned a master’s degree in clinical psychology from Illinois State University in 1976. She sees adult individuals and couples in private sessions and in intensive retreats. She loves retreats the best because so much transformation occurs in such a short time.

 

Complete the Contact Page to request a complimentary 10-minute phone session to discuss life coaching or counseling.

To read more poems and blog posts to help Sensitive Introverts thrive, visit www.SensitiveIntrovert.com.

Copyright 2018. Flourishing Love Press, LLC. All rights reserved.

Audio Interview The Gifted Highly Sensitive Introvert

 

Book Bonus for The Gifted Highly Sensitive Introvert

An audio interview with the author, Benita A. Esposito, and Dr. Cynthia J. Libert, an integrative physician.

A fun friendly discussion about several topics in the book.

Click here to listen to the Audio Interview.

If you would like to receive “My Top 10 Tips for Sensitive Introverts” and monthly inspirational articles about the Hero’s Journey to the Authentic Self to help you thrive, not just survive … click here.

Are you a Highly Sensitive Introvert? take the quiz.

Author: Benita A. Esposito is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Georgia, and she also provides her services worldwide as a life coach and an ordained spiritual counselor via videoconferences. She earned a master’s degree in clinical psychology from Illinois State University in 1976. She sees adults—individuals and couple—in private sessions and in intensive retreats. Being a results-oriented person, she loves retreats the best because so much transformation occurs in such a short time.

Complete the contact form to request a complimentary 10-minute get-acquainted phone chat to see if her services are a good fit for you.

Copyright 2018. Flourishing Love Press, LLC. All rights reserved.

 

Money Savers Exercise Book Bonus

Book Bonus for The Gifted Highly Sensitive Introvert

Download the PDF

Do your spending habits make your dreams come true?

Your Name ___________________________________ Date ______________

When we want something, sometimes we don’t believe that we have the money for it. We may be surprised to discover that we actually do have the money.

When we spend money unconsciously, we don’t receive lasting value from our purchases. We could be directing “wasted” money towards manifesting our dreams.

Read the example below, and then list your expenses in the blank form below the example. Play with the numbers and decide how much money you want to save to make your dreams come true. Decide if you want to change your spending habits.

Do you have records of your spending so you can accurately fill in the blanks? If so, great. If you have not been recording your expenses, you can use estimates. Note: There may be a large gap between your estimates and actual expenditures. That’s why it is important to keep accurate records. Carry a small notebook and begin recording everything including cash for one month. It’s best to keep yearly records so you have an accurate average of monthly expenses. You can use an excel spreadsheet or a software program.

You’ll feel more secure and confident when you make decisions aligned with your core values.

Example

Discretionary Spending Items Current Monthly

Expense

Changes I want to make New Monthly Expense
Lunch 5 times a week x $6.00 = $30 per week x 4.3 weeks a month $129 Eat out 1x week + bring lunch      $40
Two alcoholic drinks/week @ $7.00 ea.=$14 x 4.3 weeks per month 60 Delete drinks out 0
Latte or snack equivalent: $3.50 @ 5x per week x 4.3 weeks 75 Bring snacks to work 20
Two dinners out per week @ $20 each = $40 x 4.3 weeks per month 172 Dinner out 2 times/month 40
Entertainment: 2 movies per month @ $15.00 each. Concerts. Plays. 30 1 movie per month 15
Clothes, handbags or other items that you really don’t need 75 Reduce shopping 40
Manicure, pedicure 40 Paint your own nails 0
Entertainment: Internet movies, cable, satellite TV, Sirius Radio 110 Entertainment 30
Cell phone options that are not needed (video games, etc.) 10 Reduce cell phone options 5
Misc.: Personal items, cosmetics, candles, household items 40 Personal & household items 20
Gifts: birthdays and special occasions (The average American spends $639 in December for the holidays.) 85 Reduce gift spending by making special gifts 55
Bank charges. Non-sufficient funds charges. Credit card charges. 20 Pay bills on time. 0
Habits & hobbies: cigarettes, dating, flowers, travel, girls’ night out 154 Habits and hobbies 100
Total expenses $1,000 $365
Total savings xxx Save $635

 

Now it’s your turn. Complete the form below.

Discretionary Spending Items Current Monthly

Expense

Changes I want to make New Monthly Expense
Lunch out
Alcoholic drinks
Latte or snacks
Dinners out
Entertainment: Internet movies, concerts, plays
Clothes, handbags or other items that you really don’t need
Manicure, pedicure
Entertainment: Internet movies, Cable, satellite TV, Sirius Radio
Cell phone options that are not needed (video games, etc.)
Misc.: Personal items, Cosmetics, candles, household items
Gifts: birthdays, holidays, special occasions (The average American spends $639 in December for the holidays)
Bank charges. Non-sufficient funds charges. Credit card charges.
Habits & hobbies: cigarettes, dating, flowers, travel, girls night out
   
 
Total Expenses $ $
Total Savings xxx Save $

What’s the definition of insanity? Doing the same things expecting to get different results.

I work hard to prepare interesting and valuable information to support you to create a flourishing life, and I hope you find it to be helpful. Please respect my intellectual property and do not share these copyrighted materials with other people.

If you would like to receive “My Top 10 Tips for Sensitive Introverts” and monthly inspirational articles about the Hero’s Journey to the Authentic Self to help you thrive, not just survive … click here.

Are you a Highly Sensitive Introvert? take the quiz.

Author: Benita A. Esposito is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Georgia, and she also provides her services worldwide as a life coach and an ordained spiritual counselor via videoconferences. She earned a master’s degree in clinical psychology from Illinois State University in 1976. She sees adults—individuals and couple—in private sessions and in intensive retreats. Being a results-oriented person, she loves retreats the best because so much transformation occurs in such a short time.

Complete the contact form to request a complimentary 10-minute get-acquainted phone chat to see if her services are a good fit for you.

Copyright 2018. Flourishing Love Press, LLC. All rights reserved.

A Roadmap: 21 Steps on the Hero’s Journey

Book Bonus for The Gifted Highly Sensitive Introvert

 

A quick witty overview of the Hero’s Journey to the Authentic Self

1. You get a body. You might remember where you came from, but you will probably soon forget.

2. Your caregivers and society do their best to persuade you to become socially acceptable.

3. You get wounded when your emotional or physical needs aren’t met. This place ain’t like Heaven anymore.

4. A part of you leaves because it’s too painful to stay fully present. You’re only half here. You survive the best way you can. You form an Adapted Self.

5. You try your best to make your way in the world, attempting to get your needs met.

6. But since you’re only half here, even if you do get your needs met, it’s not satisfying for long.

7. You seek pleasure and avoid pain. Sex, drugs, rock ‘n roll, booze, bracelets, food. As long as you work hard and stay busy, you can avoid the hidden pain inside.

8. Some part of you is in touch with your Spirit where you feel whole, but another part of you doesn’t feel whole at all. There’s a hole in your soul.

9. You question: Who am I? Where am I? Why am I here? Why would I want to be here? Am I here? How do I know? Who am I really?

10. You find a teacher, a counselor, a life coach, a guide, a book or a seminar. Your teacher has blazed a trail through the forest before you.

11. You see guideposts on the Hero’s Journey to the Authentic Self.

12. You wish you could see the whole picture, but you can’t. All you can see is the signpost right in front of you.

13. You wonder which way to go.

14. You pick a sign and take that leg of the journey.

15. Then you come to another signpost and take that one.

16. Your teacher helps you discern if you are on the right path, or if you are simply wandering around in circles in the woods.

17. You develop the courage to face your fears and feel your emotions. You learn to stay present with yourself no matter what, even if you cry in a public place.

18. Unconditional love begins to replace self-judgment.

19. As you heal, you forgive those who hurt you or let you down.

20. You forgive yourself for living in the illusion that you were not whole in the first place.

21. You excavate your Authentic Self. Your spirit develops a sweet relationship with the Holy Spirit. You feel whole. You love yourself, flaws and all.

.

This book is a road map of my Hero’s Journey to the Authentic Self. My examples will help you see how far you’ve come … how far you have yet to go … and how to get from here to there.

 

If you would like to receive “My Top 10 Tips for Sensitive Introverts” and monthly inspirational articles about the Hero’s Journey to the Authentic Self to help you thrive, not just survive … click here.

Are you a Highly Sensitive Introvert? take the quiz.

Author: Benita A. Esposito is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Georgia, and she also provides her services worldwide as a life coach and an ordained spiritual counselor via videoconferences. She earned a master’s degree in clinical psychology from Illinois State University in 1976. She sees adults—individuals and couple—in private sessions and in intensive retreats. Being a results-oriented person, she loves retreats the best because so much transformation occurs in such a short time.

Complete the contact form to request a complimentary 10-minute get-acquainted phone chat to see if her services are a good fit for you.

Copyright 2018. Flourishing Love Press, LLC. All rights reserved.