Dear Highly Sensitive Introvert,
Since you’ve discovered the research on Highly Sensitive People (HSP), doesn’t it feel great to know that you are not alone … that you’re not weird … that you are a valuable part of society … even when your loved ones and your co-workers don’t get you? Read more
This short story was written by a highly sensitive person at one of our Deep Emotional Healing Retreats.
I discovered that I was highly sensitive in early 2019. It was a great relief to learn that my tendency for deep thinking and being highly emotional were both quite normal.
In July 2019 I felt an increasing sense of separation and isolation from people, even at my church. I felt like no one really understood what it was like to want to be deep and emotional.
I had often felt isolated when I was younger, and I thought that I had finally accepted it, but the loneliness came back.
At the same time, I wanted very much to be vulnerable with my emotions, but I was very insecure about doing that. I thought doing so would make me stand out, and standing out was often very stressful for me.
I craved deep relationships, but I didn’t know how to find them.
I searched for resources about how to live as a highly sensitive Christian and found Benita Esposito’s book, The Gifted Highly Sensitive Introvert, in August 2019.
Two of Benita’s stories particularly resonated with me in a way no other book has.
The first was about how her father punished her when she was a young child. I also had a similar experience with my mother when I was young, which I’ll talk about below.
The second was about a time when Benita was on a retreat and didn’t feel like socializing but just wanted to let herself be sad and cry. I felt like that so often, but I usually didn’t dare to show it.
I wanted so much to feel free to be my emotional self.
A couple of the exercises in her book seemed strange to me, and I was skeptical they would do anything for me. One was the “Sacred Inner Beloved” dialogs where I was supposed to write a dialog between God and myself. The other was the reparenting exercise where I was to write a reconciliation dialog between my mother and myself.
Mysteriously, within a few days of reading about each of those exercises, I found my mind was doing the exercise as I awoke in the morning. I jumped out of bed and started writing and the words just flowed.
The Sacred Inner Beloved speaks.
In my Sacred Inner Beloved exercise, Jesus told me how precious I was to Him, and how He longed to spend time with me in nature. He urged me to accept His love. I had an image of embracing Him and crying on His shoulder. I cried as I was writing, too. I felt Him say, “Don’t be afraid to cry. Your tears are an anointing to me. I am honored to receive this from you, like I received the tears from the woman who washed My feet with her tears.”
Jesus continued to speak loving, affirming words to me about how precious I was to Him. He promised to heal me.
One surprising promise was that I would be a healer of hearts. That’s something I wanted, but I wasn’t sure if I was hearing Him clearly.
Trauma and Re-parenting Myself
While I was meditating a couple of months ago, I recalled a traumatic memory. Here is the historical version as best as I can remember.
When I was about 5 years old, we were having a party at our house, and my mother asked me to open a bottle of soda for the guests. When I put the bottle on the table and twisted the cap, the foam overflowed onto the table. My mom saw what happened and scolded me in an angry voice, “You must have shaken the bottle.”
I was very hurt. I ran to my room, lay down on my bed facing the wall and sobbed. My mom came in later and tried to comfort me by saying, “If I scold you, all you need to do is scold back at me.” But it felt disrespectful to do that. I hurt too much to even say anything.
During my meditation, the following altered vision of the event came to my mind.
After the soda overflowed, my mom saw what happened, and instead of scolding, she grabbed two rags and ran over to the table. She put the soda cap back on, handed me one of the rags, and said, “Quick, let’s get this cleaned up together.” I didn’t feel shunned and ashamed any more. Then I said (still as a child in my mind), “Are you ok, Mom? Are you stressed or sad? Is something bothering you?” It’s as though I could see past my pain, and could show compassion instead.
Then my thoughts were taken to a scene that might happen soon in my present-day reality. I saw myself saying to my mom, “Were you stressed or sad when I was young?” (I think the answer would be yes.) I said, “I think I can forgive you now,” and hugged her with tears moistening my eyes.
But that was only a vision. Afterward, I felt like it would take a long time to be able to forgive my mom in reality.
Private Breathwork Practice
Benita explained the breathwork procedure so I could practice by myself before I attended her Deep Emotional Healing Retreat.
During a couple of these sessions, I became very sad and felt like God was abandoning me. Once the feeling became so intense that I said aloud, “Don’t leave me!” I felt like I was in a dark place even though the sun was shining brightly outside. Later, I felt God saying that He was with me. I felt that I would start coming out of the darkness soon by going to Benita’s retreat.
Traveling to the Retreat (October 4, 2019)
I didn’t know what I would gain from the retreat, but I felt a very strong sense that this is what I had to do for myself. As I was driving to the retreat, I saw the mountains in the distance and started to weep. I remember saying to myself with a deep yearning, “I’m going to get help.” I really felt God calling me to this beautiful place for healing and that He would meet me in a special way.
Trust-building at the Retreat (October 5-6, 2019)
I found myself quickly trusting the other retreat members. I think it was because I knew we were all there to find healing and that many (if not all) were highly sensitive like myself. I was very ready to remove my mask because I felt that if anyone could understand me, it would be these people.
During those two days, I wept more than I ever had in the presence of other people. It was incredibly freeing to finally express my emotional self and not feel like people were staring at me for being strange or different.
Retreat first day: Breathwork (October 5, 2019)
We did a group breathwork session for more than an hour on the first day. For me, breathwork is similar to a waking dream where my emotional self is freer to explore deep emotions, desires, and unresolved wounds from my past. I also connect with God. Some of the thoughts and images made sense, and others were more mysterious and symbolic.
Early in the session, I felt like I was lost in a dark unfamiliar place. I remember being afraid and wondering, “Where am I?” Then I felt like I was being rescued from drowning and was coughing up water.
After some time, I felt the presence of Jesus. A sense of peace came over me. The music changed to something that sounded like a choir, and I had a vision of angels standing with Jesus. I felt so loved and sensed Him saying to me, “I will move heaven and earth for you. My legions of angels will be with you and help you.”
Almost immediately I sensed the pain among the other members, and I thought, “I’ll take that pain upon myself.” But an inner voice told me, “You need to ask Jesus to take their pain.” I imagined bringing each member to the embrace of Jesus so He could bear their pain. I embraced them from behind so I could be an added comfort to them. It felt good to comfort a hurting person.
Some time passed, and I had an image of myself as a baby in the hospital. (When I was younger, my parents had told me that when I was a baby, I had a bad fever and had to stay in the hospital.) I felt really alone and abandoned. I also had an image of my parents watching me with concern, but not being able to come near me. I believe that this experience was the true source of my feelings of abandonment that I experienced during my private breathwork sessions.
Later, I felt my stomach tensing up. I don’t let people touch my stomach. If they do, I wince and get tense in that area. Benita came over and placed her hand on my stomach and also on my chest, and I relaxed a little. Her touch felt safe, and I didn’t feel any need to tense up defensively. I felt a healing power through her hands. As I kept on breathing deeply, I felt the urge to exhale violently as though I needed to expel something really dark and evil. At one point I even wiped my mouth in disgust and told the evil to leave me. After I felt like the evil was sufficiently gone, I relaxed.
Retreat second day: Reparenting (October 6, 2019)
During the group reparenting exercise, one member took the role of the stern version of my mom and another member took the role of the compassionate version.
I was able to express to my stern mother how hurt and crushed and shamed I felt by her scolding during the soda incident. I was shouting, “How could you do that to me? I’m your son!”
When the compassionate mother was comforting me, I recalled all the reparenting work I had already done. I said to the stern mother, “I know that I didn’t come with instructions. I know you had your own problems at the time.”
Then I had the chance to play the role of the compassionate father for another retreat member. I placed my hands on her shoulders as she expressed her pain about being neglected by her father. I felt a deep sadness. When she started to cry, I was overcome with emotion and I wept, too. Then I knelt down face-to-face with her. I held her hands and talked to her as her compassionate father. I was still crying, and I couldn’t speak very loudly.
Benita guided me in what to say, such as, “I do love you, my daughter.”
I wanted so much to make the client feel loved, and I had so many affirming words in my heart that I wanted to express. I said, “I’m so sorry,” and went on to say all the different ways she was precious and the activities we would do together.
After a few minutes, the stern father also approached, facing her and standing behind me. He began to speak affirming words. I felt like I needed to allow them to reconcile more fully, so I moved to the side so I was no longer between them. Then I took her (the client’s) hands and joined them with the stern father’s, and I put my hands on top of both their hands, while the stern father continued to affirm her. We stayed that way until he was finished with his healing words.
That experience was one of the most fulfilling that I ever remember. Jesus said comforting words to me in my Sacred Inner Beloved dialogs, and now His love and affirmation were flowing through me to help others.
Post Retreat Debrief (October 7, 2019)
Benita and I had a private session after the retreat. I told her that I didn’t think I was ready to tell my mom that I forgave her. Benita encouraged me to be more intentional about writing reparenting dialogs, and I agreed to do that a few times before our next meeting.
An Unexpected Conversation with my Mother (October 8, 2019)
When I got home after the retreat, I felt a strong desire to ask my mom about the details of the time I was sick as a baby. I told her that at the retreat I recalled a feeling of being abandoned in that incident, even though I have no conscious memory of the event because I was a baby.
She told me that I had a serious infection which required me to stay in the hospital for several days. The doctors had to try two kinds of antibiotics to stop the infection. My mom went back and forth between home and hospital to keep checking on me. The nurses didn’t allow her to hold me because that might disturb the IVs I was hooked up to, so she could only caress me with her hand. But she was so adamant about holding me that she did it anyway when the nurses weren’t looking. She knew I needed that comfort.
For several days after I was released from the hospital, I cried and fussed whenever my mom wasn’t carrying me. Apparently, I was so traumatized that I needed to feel safe in her arms. My mom barely slept for a week because she walked around with me in a sling or I wouldn’t fall asleep.
After hearing this, I realized it was getting late, so I went back to my apartment to sleep. (I live in the same building as my parents.) My soul was so moved with admiration by what my mom did for me that I felt I needed to tell her. I remembered a story that I read in Benita’s book when she saw a beautiful ski jacket. She said, “My inner voice told me to share my joy because expressing my joy as well as my pain was part of being true to my Authentic Self.”
I went back to my parents’ apartment. I didn’t have words, so I just opened my arms to hug my mom and started to cry. She thought it was because I was still feeling the abandonment as a baby. But I said it was more than that, and that we could about it talk later. She wanted to hear the rest of what I had to say right then.
I told her about the soda incident and my “revised version” where we cleaned up the mess together, and where I asked if she was stressed.
She said that was very mature of me to think that way, and remarked how much the retreat must have done for me. She told me that she was stressed when I was young because of family tensions and mistreatment. I knew about some of this mistreatment, and now she was confirming what my intuition had told me. The mistreatment was likely the cause of her outburst at me when the soda overflowed.
After a few moments, I felt a strong desire to reconnect with her, and I reached out for her hand. She gave me her hand but also hugged me, and I cried again, and she cried a little, too. Then I told her that I was ready to forgive her. I now understood that her harshness was due to her own problems at the time.
We talked about some of our recent conflicts. One was where she made a comment that I was neglectful for not putting away the leftovers. (I couldn’t do it right away because I was occupied with something.) Her comment had really triggered me and after stewing on it, I had told her it wasn’t ok to attack me for being irresponsible.
When recounting this incident, my mom said that she often says things in an off-handed way just to make conversation because she feels like silence is “stuffy.” She suggested that I just “argue back” in a friendly way when she says offensive things because she feels better when doing that. But I told her that I feel worse when I need to confront people and that my feelings are easily hurt. I told her I prefer nonverbal communication, so instead of filling the silence with banter, how about just a hug?
The amazing thing is that I realized this “nonverbal” preference of mine during a private session with Benita, and now I had the knowledge to express that to my mom.
We hugged one last time before I went off to bed. I didn’t cry this time but felt very much at peace. When getting ready for bed, I had a song playing in the background. Before the retreat, this song would bring up a sad yearning feeling, as in “I don’t like where I am now, but I know somehow it’s going to get better.” But listening to the song now felt very different, as in “I’m in a good place. I feel ready to spread my wings and soar!”
This was an absolutely miraculous outcome … one I didn’t expect to happen so soon.
So many different things that I experienced while working with Benita came together at once: reading her book, the private reparenting, the group reparenting, the breathwork visions, the one-on-one sessions, being with kindred spirits at the retreat, remembering Benita’s jacket story.
I feel that God brought everything together. Each piece was necessary for this transformation.
Now my mom and I have made a habit of embracing almost every day.
Final Closure (October 10, 2019)
I woke up feeling very loved by God. He said to me, “Though you are lost, I will go to the ends of the earth to find you and bring you to Myself.”
God had one more thing to teach me about my past trauma.
Up to this point, I had two versions of the soda incident when I was five years old: the historical one that originally traumatized me and the one where my mom was perfectly reasonable and we cleaned up the spill together.
A third version came to mind.
Mom scolds me, and I start to cry, but then she immediately says, “I’m sorry for saying that. Come here.” She embraces me until I feel accepted again. She says again, “I’m so sorry I said those hurtful things. You’ll always be my precious baby.” I hold her tight and feel her warmth until I feel entirely comforted. When she feels that and notices that I loosen my embrace, she looks into my eyes and says, “Ok now? I’ll hold you as long as you want.” I say, “I’m OK now.” Then she grabs two cloths, hands me one and says, “Let’s clean this up together.”
I realize now that it’s important not to completely cover over a traumatic memory with an idealized version, or to hold the traumatic one and the ideal one as separate versions.
Loved ones will hurt us sometimes. That’s the reality of this fallen world. But God provides means of reconciliation and understanding and healing. When that happens, in God’s time, we become free to merge the hurt and the love into the beautiful tapestry where both darkness and light play their part. The light appears so much brighter when seen against the backdrop of darkness.
~ The End. ~ Lovingly shared by “KL”
Did you find this story compelling? If you are interested in attending a Highly Sensitive Person Retreat or a Deep Emotional Healing Retreat, please click here for the retreat schedule in Georgia, USA.
Click here for a complimentary 10-minute phone interview to see if you are a good fit for these retreats. Make your plans well ahead of time because you will need to fulfill prerequisites.
Complete the contact page and Benita Esposito will do her best to reach out to you within 48 hours.
Credentials: Retreat Facilitator, Benita A. Esposito, MA
Two days: July 4-5, 2020. North Georgia Mountains, USA
Canceled due to the pandemic.
Enjoy this blessing from my dear friend Father John Rice:
I bless you and your family with Abba’s peace and joy and love during this time of uncertainty. I bless you and your family with a shield of God’s light and love that protects you from all harm. And I bless you and all members of your family with the mighty words of Ps 91:10, “that no plague shall come near your dwelling place.” In Jesus’ name. AMEN.
- Have you ever been told you are too sensitive, just get over it?
- Do you have intense emotions that fire rapidly and last longer than other people’s?
- Do you become overwhelmed by conflict and aggressive people?
- Do you feel distressed when you have too much to do in too little time?
- Do noisy crowds and social chit chat at networking events irritate you?
Do you have a highly sensitive personality? Take the quiz.
Read my book — a memoir and teaching stories about my trials and triumphs as an HSP, The Gifted Highly Sensitive Introvert: Wisdom for Emotional Healing and Expressing Your Radiant Authentic Self. It’s available as an ebook, paperback and an audiobook. Click here to purchase it on Amazon. You can also go to Audible.com or your iTunes app for the audiobook.
Click here to watch my book video.
The Research on Highly Sensitive People (HSP)
A new personality type emerged from Dr. Elaine Aron’s groundbreaking psychological research: the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP).
Only 20% of the population is highly sensitive. That means 80% of the population is wired differently than we are. No wonder we feel misunderstood.
I particularly love counseling and coaching highly sensitive people because I am one.
Gifts of the Highly Sensitive Person
We’re conscientious and responsible. We are deeply moved by the beauty of Nature and the arts. We are touched by the feelings of those around us. Many of us are empaths. That means that we actually feel the emotions of others. That helps us be adept healers, friends, lovers and team members. We’re troubled by conflict, and we want to decrease the violence in a world. Our intuition tells us what needs to be done to help people feel comfortable, and we truly want what is best for everyone. Sometimes we can predict the future. We easily see outcomes that others can’t see. We love deeply and passionately. When emotional intimacy is combined with sexual intimacy in a loving healthy committed relationship, there’s nothing better. We are happy when our creative juices are set free. A world filled with harmony, mutual respect and creativity sounds just right to us.
Anxiety and depression are familiar, especially if our personal or professional relationships are not healthy, or if we grew up in a dysfunctional family.
It’s easy to feel what other people feel, and we can understand people at depth. But, we may feel like we are losing ourselves in a relationship, especially if people don’t nurture us in return. We tend to give more than we receive.
It’s challenging to assert ourselves and express our needs because we defer to people-pleasing. That leaves us feeling depleted after a while. We want harmony. We want to keep the peace. Ironically, we can also become harsh and aggressive if we have not yet mastered the art of setting boundaries tactfully.
Some of us highly sensitive people actually take on the pain of others, which helps the other person heal, but leaves us exhausted. If you have this type of sensitivity, you are an “empath” like I am. Before we understand this trait, we may not know that we are taking on emotions that actually belong to others. Our bodies may experience chronic fatigue and pain and we may not know why.
We can feel like a ball tossed around on turbulent ocean waves, unable to find a stable base inside ourselves.
We might try to get family members to change so we can feel calm inside. But it rarely works, even though we may use that approach for years before we become exhausted.
We need to commit to cultivating inner peace no matter what is happening on the outside.
Too much stimulation from the environment stresses us. We’re like cats whose sensitive whiskers and ears sense tiny movements all around us.
We tend to be light sleepers and insomnia is common especially when traveling and sleeping in strange environments.
Because we are so sensitive, we need daily relaxation just to stay centered. We need to meditate to restore our inner peace and regain energy.
In a world that values high productivity and undervalues naps, HSPs can get burned out if we don’t take a stand for good self-care. That includes healthy food, 7.5-8 hours of good quality sleep, exercise, supportive relationships and fulfilling work.
Highly Sensitive People don’t like:
- People yelling at us
- Conflicts that aren’t resolved
- People making too many demands
- Loud noises, crowds and violent movies
- Rush hour at high speeds, bumper to bumper traffic
- Temperatures that are too cold or too hot
- Odors, chemicals and other things that don’t bother 80% of the population.
Needs of the Highly Sensitive Person
Highly sensitive people need authentic, genuine emotional connections more than most people. We feel empty inside when we don’t get it.
There’s a deep ache. We need quiet time to go inside. Our spirituality is important to us. We need to learn how to regulate our emotions when we’re stressed. We need beauty. We need to meditate. We need to slow down. We need to be creative.
We need help to learn how to manage our highly sensitive qualities.
We have incredible gifts to help people and to make the world a better place. We are counselors, healers, artists, writers, philosophers, teachers, IT geniuses and pastors. We facilitate healing for people, we’re creative team members, and we understand people at depth. We’re intuitive and spiritual.
We must take good care of ourselves, or we have a high price to pay, higher than most. When not balanced, we get irritable, sick, exhausted, anxious, depressed or feel physical pain.
Like Goldie Locks in the story of the three bears, we like our porridge not too hot, not too cold, but just right.
The activities unfold organically to meet the needs of the participants. I offer several healing modalities: Processes to help the group bond, feel safe and supported. Guided meditations with soothing music. One-to-one coaching in front of the group so everyone learns vicariously. This is a spiritual healing format. If you want hands-on-healing, I will do that. If you don’t, I won’t. I honor your choice.
Breathwork is one of the primary transformational healing process used in this retreat. It’s intense and deep so you’re likely to experience impressive results. We work directly with the body-mind-spirit to access unconscious emotional memory, sometimes as far back as in-utero and infancy. We want to heal the very beginning of life-long patterns so we can be free to be who we really are: our Authentic Self.
This retreat is not for beginners. Participants must want to feel deep emotions where they can heal the root of unconscious material.
Most people have prior counseling or life coaching or group work. You may be currently working with another therapist and use this retreat as an adjunct to your therapy.
Requirement: Please read all these articles before applying for this retreat.
Prerequisites for the Retreat
- Attend a minimum of three private sessions by June 4. There is an additional fee for these sessions. We can meet at my Blairsville, Georgia office, or meet via phone or videoconference.
- Read all the Breathwork articles above.
Location: Young Harris, Georgia. Overlooking Lake Chatuge and the Blue Ridge Mountains.
Two hours from Atlanta, Chattanooga and Asheville.
Saturday and Sunday
Arrive at 9:00-9:15am
Group 9:30am – 12:30pm
Lunch Break 12:30 – 2:30pm
Group 2:30 – 5:30pm
Saturday evening: group dinner
Please be flexible on the ending time to accommodate the needs of the group. We will take one long break during the afternoon to walk at the lake, meditate, nap or deepen friendships. It’s your choice.
Retreat Tuition for two full days: $595.00
Early bird $25 discount by May 4.
Register Now: This is a small group so you will get plenty of personal attention. Space allows for 6 people so register early to save your seat.
Contact me for payment instructions.
Pre-requisite: Minimum of 3 private sessions by June 4.
Click here for a list of Lodging and Restaurants.
Contact me, Benita A. Esposito, MA for a complimentary 10-minute phone interview.
Read more about the challenges and gifts of the Highly Sensitive Person in my bestselling book:
P.S. If you’re interested in receiving individual counseling, life coaching or spiritual counseling, you can start by contacting me for a complimentary 10-minute interview. I’m happy to help.
All refund requests must be made via email. Complete the contact form.
• 30 or more days before the retreat, there will be a full refund minus a $50 processing fee.
• No refunds 0 – 29 days before the retreat, but you may apply your fee to private sessions or another retreat within one year, minus a $50 fee.
Drum roll, please!
I’m excited to announce the debut of the paperback version of The Gifted Highly Sensitive Introvert: Wisdom for Emotional Healing and Expressing Your Radiant Authentic Self.
It is my memoir and teaching stories to guide highly sensitive introverts on the journey to the Authentic Self.
The eBook version launched 10/16/2018. Amazon awarded it the Bestseller banner in 9 categories during the first week.
Amazon began posting the #1 New Release banner for the paperback version in 8 categories on 12/3/2018.
If you ever wanted to achieve a cherished goal, but you doubted you could do it, you’ll be inspired by my story.
Most of the time my book sells more copies than When Bad Things Happen to Good People, The Dalai Lama’s Book of Wisdom, and the Whole-Brain Child which was written by one of my teachers.
I thought that if my book received the Bestseller banner, tons of other books must, too. But that’s not the case. Brian Berni, who manages my Amazon ads, explained that it’s rare for a book to become a bestseller.
There are 4 million eBooks on Amazon.
My eBook ranked #3,305 during the first week.
That means that only 3,304 books sold more copies.
Brian says that he’s happy if a new book ranks 20,000. It’s excellent if a book ranks 6,000.
But it’s absolutely amazing for a book to rank 3,000-4,000. Especially for a first-time author who doesn’t use much social media or have a big platform.
How did this success happen?
For years I had hoped that I could write a bestseller, but it seemed like a pipe dream.
It took me two years to write this book. I didn’t feel confident while writing and publishing my book. I changed the title a thousand times. I fretted over learning the technology required to publish and advertise a book on Amazon. There were hundreds of things to study and memorize. But week after week I learned.
I didn’t study writing in school. I’m not an English major. I enrolled in an adult education course on writing once, but I quit the first time the teacher criticized my work. Highly Sensitive Introverts feel stung by criticism. I have dyslexia so I read slowly and I don’t like to read much. Most writers are readers. Not me.
I consulted the guidance of the Holy Spirit every step of the way:
• what topics to include in this book and which to save for another book
• what writing style to use, and how to edit it.
• which self-publishing school to choose. I found several schools that cost $20,000. I refused to spend that kind of money.
• which sub-contractors to hire for editing, proofreading, cover design, formatting, copywriting the book description and ad management.
• I asked for prayer support. One of the women on the prayer team at my church crocheted a white loose-weave scarf with a tiny cross embedded in it. That scarf hung around my neck 24 hours each weekend while I wrote for 20 months.
• The Holy Spirit sent angels who lifted me up. I acknowledge them all in my book.
I did my best to follow instructions from the Self-Publishing School (SPS) founded by Chandler Bolt. He and his staff have the highest integrity. My book coach, Marcy Pusey, was perfect for me because she is a highly sensitive person, too. She deeply understood me and she was so warm-hearted that I was moved to tears. I had tons of questions and I didn’t hesitate to ask every one of them. The SPS online community is warm and friendly. They provided the support that I needed to keep putting one foot in front of the other, especially when I felt discouraged.
*** If you would like to join the Self-Publishing School so you can learn how to write and publish your book, shoot me an email. I’ll arrange for you to receive a sizable discount.
I knew I could write my book. But, I also knew that if I didn’t learn how to market it well, few people would find it. My goal was to reach masses of people to help improve the quality of life on the planet.
The Gifted Highly Sensitive Introvert eBook sold 849 copies in the first month. Some books don’t sell that much in their lifetime. I hope that the release of the paperback will catapult sales.
I had no idea that my book would become a bestseller. None.
But now, my confidence is growing. I can look back and understand what I did to create a bestseller even though I was a first-time author, a babe in the woods.
I hope you feel encouraged by my story. If I did it, you can do it. My book coach told me that 80% of people want to write a book, but only 2% actually do.
Always remember this:
“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now.” ―Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Here’s to your success in achieving your most cherished dreams.
Hop on over to Amazon, and buy your copy of The Gifted Highly Sensitive Introvert. Buy a copy for your sensitive friends and for the family members that you want to understand you.
I’d appreciate it if you would write an Amazon review because great reviews boost the rank of the book. Then more sensitive introverts will find the help they need.
Please share this notice on your social media sites.
Author: Benita A. Esposito, MA, is a life coach and spiritual counselor. Contact her for a complimentary 10-minute get-acquainted phone chat to schedule a coaching session to catapult your success as a sensitive introvert.
Click here to visit the Book Page for The Gifted Highly Sensitive Introvert.
Wisdom for Emotional Healing and
Expressing Your Radiant Authentic Self
“The hardest battle you are ever going to have to fight is the battle to be just you.”
–Leo F. Buscaglia
This book will appeal to all highly sensitive people, but if you are a smart sensitive introvert who has struggled with anxiety, depression, trauma or relationships, you’ll especially relate to my memoir and teaching stories about the Hero’s Journey to the Authentic Self. Read more
This is chapter 5 in my book, The Gifted Highly Sensitive Introvert: Wisdom for Emotional Healing and Expressing Your Radiant Authentic Self.
Search for my ebook and paperback book on Amazon and click the “Look Inside” button to read the first several pages of the book. You can buy it on Amazon.
“The trademark of an empath is feeling and absorbing other people’s emotions and/or physical symptoms because of their high sensitivities. These people filter the world through their intuition. Empaths are big-hearted people and try to relieve the pain of others … suddenly they’re the one feeling drained or upset when they felt fine before.” ~ Dr. Judith Orloff is a New York Times bestselling author and a member of the UCLA psychiatric clinical faculty. Read more
Personal and Spiritual Mastery
Many of us feel upset with the increase of violence on our planet. If you are a highly sensitive person, you may feel the chaos energetically, even though you’re hundreds of miles away from a war, or a mass shooting or a natural disaster. If you have experienced abuse or trauma, or if you are empathic, your body may feel agitated, setting off a whole string of emotions that you don’t understand. That’s typical for a highly sensitive person, that is, until you develop a mindfulness practice to experience personal and spiritual mastery.
What can we do in the midst of chaos? We can’t always stop the violence around us. But instead of feeling helpless, we can do something. We can stop the wars inside ourselves and return to the experience of wholeness every day. Some spiritual leaders say that it takes only 10% of the whole population to shift the consciousness on the planet. When we develop the ability to stay more centered, we affect the world because we are part of the world, like one facet of the diamond is part of the whole diamond. Many of us have spent years doing inner healing. All the work we have done with our families and friends cannot be in vain. It counts, even if we cannot see the immediate impact of our efforts. We can contribute to the wisdom on this planet.
Right now you may be experiencing a resurgence of old issues and old wounds that you thought you had healed. This does not mean that you are backsliding. It means that you have the opportunity to upgrade your mastery level so you can more closely align with your Authentic Self as a highly sensitive person. Wherever the distortions still remain, they are being exposed. When you experience a conflict, ask to be shown the highest level of wisdom. Then summon the courage to act congruently with your insights.
Make a study of the wise use of power. The abuse of power results in violence. There’s a direct relationship between unresolved grief and the abuse of power. When we lose something important to us (including our sense of power or worthiness), or when we lose someone precious to us, vulnerable emotions arise. If we don’t know how to be with our vulnerable emotions, we blame or attack others. Or we shut down in depression, or we get stoic and can’t connect with our loved ones. Or we harm ourselves. Or we use our favorite addiction. But when we use emotional mastery skills, we can stay present with our own vulnerability while being grounded in our body. We connect with our Authentic Self and the Holy Spirit. We still have a sense of wholeness while we experience the loss. We’re able to make decisions based on the wise use of power.
Personal and spiritual mastery look like this: We are willing to sit with our grief and take responsibility for our disappointment, helplessness or loss. We own it. We observe ourselves non-judgmentally and say, “This is my grief. This is my sorrow. This is my loss.” We are willing to feel it and stop abandoning ourselves. We stop blaming others. We breathe and feel. This practice is called mindfulness.
When we choose personal and spiritual mastery, it’s like playing a violin. Our instrument needs tuning every time we play. We don’t tune it once and it stays tuned. We practice our scales even though we’ve been playing for years because it helps us stay proficient. We play music that brings us joy, but we also select new pieces that challenge us because we enjoy upgrading our skills. We love the experience of making the violin sing even sweeter. When all the orchestra members increase their skills, the music sparkles.
I encourage you to refine your skills every day so you can play the beautiful music your Authentic Self longs to sing. You are a vital part of the whole symphony. You count. Turn towards your true source of all love, wisdom and power. Schedule daily mindfulness practices so you increase your personal and spiritual mastery.
Reflections. Now It’s Your Turn.
- Who or what sets off “wars” in your life?
- Choose one struggle to focus on to upgrade your personal and spiritual mastery skills.
- Ask your Authentic Self and God to counsel you. Write what you hear, word for word.
- Develop daily practices to self-soothe and increase self-awareness so you can feel peace in the middle of the storm. Examples: Meditate. Breathe deeply. Journal. Yoga. Exercise. Eat healthy food. Talk with a friend. Attend counseling sessions. Pray. Paint. Play. Spend time in nature. Get 8 hours of sleep.
- What action do you choose to take? When? How often? Schedule it on your calendar so you keep the commitment to yourself. You’ll feel so much better when you develop mindfulness practices so you can feel peace in the middle of the storm.
A Resource for You
I created the guided meditation CD “A Journey into Wholeness” to help people stay grounded, manage difficult emotions, and access spiritual guidance. If you would like to hear a sample and purchase a copy, click here. This is one of many tools I have to share with you.
Contact the author Benita A. Esposito, MA if you would like help to develop your personal and spiritual mastery via individual sessions or intensive retreats. Spiritual counseling is available worldwide via Zoom videoconference.
Copyright 2017. All rights reserved. The Esposito Institute, Inc.
Are you tired of limiting patterns sabotaging your life? Would your life be significantly better if you did not have to deal with emotional wounds that pop up at the most unexpected times?
If you keep doing the same old thing, you will keep creating the same results. You cannot solve a problem from the level of the problem. If you are ready to do something significantly different to achieve your fondest dreams, read on.
Breathwork is the most powerful tools I have ever used to reach enlightened states of consciousness and to heal long-standing patterns.
Let me tell you my story.
Before I discovered breathwork, I participated in talk therapy but still kept repeating the same old patterns. I was anxious, depressed, driven, and insecure, but I hid it under a mask of confidence. Most people never knew I suffered inside. I was successful in the ways of the world but I felt lonely and my body hurt a lot. I was frustrated and felt I had wasted a lot of my life not living up to my potential. I disliked suffering so much.
Then I met a teacher who helped me turn my life around. He was gifted with a keen intuition that could see right through me. I wanted a teacher to really know me and to love me with my warts and all. I was so fascinated by the results he facilitated that I wanted to learn how to do the same kind of highly effective work with my clients.
My teacher helped me connect with my buried insecurity, fear, pain and anger. I couldn’t fool him and that’s just what I needed. He helped me move massive amounts of blocked energy. I learned to connect with my subconscious material instead of being heady and anlytical.
I learned to listen to the messages of my body and my emotions, and I learned how to mine the wisdom there. I learned how to use the power of the breath, sound, music and movement to transform blockages. Breathwork is the most powerful tool I have found to generate deep healing and transformation.
When the student is ready, the teacher appears.
I will be eternally grateful to this teacher for showing up in my life. He was the major catalyst for my growth. I laid a whole new foundation for my life because of him. It is so much easier to manifest my fondest dreams because my energy is not tied up in old emotional wounding. I no longer feel like I am pushing a boulder uphill.
I am happy to report that I have learned how to facilitate this powerful transformation with my clients. I have become my own best friend and I feel a deep sense of inner peace, and I can you help learn how to do this, too. Breathwork will save you years of therapy, money and suffering.
We’ll be doing Breathwork in the weekend retreats that I offer:
- Deep Emotional Healing
- Highly Sensitive Person
Please contact me if you would like a complementary 10-minute get acquainted phone chat to see if the Highly Sensitive Person Retreat or individual sessions are right for you.
Contact: Benita A Esposito, MA, Life Coaching and Spiritual Counseling
Offices in Atlanta and Blairsville, Georgia, USA. Zoom videoconferences worldwide.
Have you ever been in a situation where your romantic partner didn’t understand you? Or worse, they criticized you or became contemptuous or dismissed your feelings? You tried to create an emotional connection that would help you both feel better, but they kept throwing daggers? That really hurt, didn’t it? Read more
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The Esposito Institute
PO Box 1074
Young Harris, GA 30582
168 Rogers Street
Blairsville GA 30512
Sandy Springs Office
5885 Glenridge Drive NE
Atlanta GA 30328