HSP Breathwork Retreat: Finding Joy (Bessie’s Story)
Moving Through Fear, Awakening Ecstasy
What You Will Discover in This Story:
- Confronting Generalized Fear: Learn how a highly sensitive woman pushed past terror, doubt, and the fear of losing control in front of strangers.
- Welcoming Deep Physical Pain: Discover how her analytical mind resisted turning off until hysterical laughter spontaneously took over.
- Awakening to Lasting Ecstasy: See how an aching sense of emptiness transformed into light and wonder, sustaining a wave of joy that lasted days after the retreat.
Bessie (a pseudonym) was a successful healthcare entrepreneur in her 40s, as well as a highly sensitive introvert. Several private sessions laid the foundation for her HSP Breathwork Retreat. Like many first-time participants, she arrived with a bevy of fears. That is completely normal—it is okay to show up with all your concerns. Think of it like this: many children are terrified the first time they stand at the edge of a pool. But when they are accompanied by a wise, caring adult to guide and protect them, they finally take the risk to jump. Only by jumping do they move through the fear. Such was the case with Bessie and breathwork. Read to the end to learn about her remarkable transformation.
What makes this HSP Breathwork Retreat story so unique is the vivid level of detail Bessie uses to describe exactly what happened inside her body during the process. Here is Bessie’s story, in her own words.
The Courage to Leap: Bessie’s Path to Wholeness
I arrived at Benita’s HSP Breathwork Retreat filled with trepidation. Nervousness, worry, and hope swirled through me as I anticipated what was to come. “This will be profound,” Benita had told me. “It will be life-changing.”
I kept telling myself, “No matter what, this will be an adventure. No matter what, I will be OK.” Yet, underneath, I was terrified. I was terrified of actually facing the pain I’d been living with for so long. I was afraid of looking deeply at myself and opening up in front of strangers. I was afraid of relinquishing control.
Because I had been living in a cloud of generalized anxiety for such a long time,
it made perfect sense that I would feel fear about confronting fear.
When Benita first described the breathwork process, it sounded outlandish to me. Did I really want to subject myself to this? Would I succeed? When I decided to attend the retreat, I made a conscious choice to trust Benita’s leadership. Again and again, I had to recommit to that trust—both in her and in the process. I did my best to quiet all the doubts and simply follow her instructions.
The Breathwork Process
The music saturated the room like a symphony concert hall. I lay cocooned with my eye mask on, breathing into my depths. My belly expanded, and air flowed down toward my pelvis. At times I felt like a woman in labor, pushing my pelvis into the floor. The music swirled around me—sometimes lovely and soothing, sometimes energetic and activating.
I knew my mind was supposed to relax and eventually dissolve into a state of consciousness where I could process and heal old wounds. Would I ever get there? Would I ever reach the spiritual enlightenment that was also possible? At first, I didn’t see how either could happen.
Doubt filled my mind for what seemed like an eternity. My inner voice was certain: “This won’t work. You will fail at breathing.”
Suddenly, those negative thoughts seemed ludicrous. To fail at breathing? It was hysterical! I felt giant waves of laughter rising up within me. They rippled along my abdominal wall and into my chest. Waves and shudders rolled through my abdomen.
Moving From Laughter to Deep Healing
Then came the pain. The laughter vanished.
My chest filled with memories of a past time when I’d felt completely frozen. Pain tore through my middle and directly into my chest—a black, ripping pain, layered and interlaced with years of heartache. Memory and the present moment merged. It was sharp, stabbing, and overwhelming.
Yet, somewhere behind the agony, I felt a spark of excitement and happiness. It was working! I was experiencing the promised, life-changing phenomenon. I had not failed at breathing!
As the pain subsided, a curious feeling washed over me: I didn’t want it to go. It felt as though I wasn’t done with it yet, and it wasn’t done with me. Years of darkness can’t dissipate in one single threshold experience, can they?
A few more black waves rolled in, and then a quiet calm washed over me.
The Awakening
I focused on my breathing. Deep in, deep out. Then, movement again.
My right arm wanted to slide across the floor, to stretch and reach out far above my head, hand open, palm up, beseeching. Instead of ice this time, my chest filled with yearning, opening into a huge, empty cavity of longing. Then my left arm moved, my left hand stretching, fingers splayed, asking, seeking.
“Fill me. Fill me.” I was a voice begging, “Fill me.” My straining chest, my reaching arms, my spreading fingers all cried, “Fill me!”
Suddenly, I saw a sharp yellow and blue, dazzling light flooding my palms. My body soaked in a little more light every time I repeated the words, “Fill me.” I reached and reached, pulling toward the light, pleading.
And then, it was over. My arms relaxed. My chest deflated. I was restored back to my normal body, arms resting on my breathing belly, my mind in a state of pure wonder, wanting more. Amazed and deeply relaxed, I lay on the floor for a very long time, completely motionless.
One Week After the HSP Breathwork Retreat
Bessie wrote to Benita: “I continue to ride the waves of ecstasy. I’ve never experienced anything like what happened to me during that breathwork session. I am feeling lighter and freer than ever before. The fear that used to be my daily visitor has vanished, and I feel solid in myself… like I’ve finally come home to my Self. I can’t thank you enough.”
From Frozen Fear to Radiant Resilience
Bessie arrived paralyzed by a lifelong cloud of fear, yet she left riding a wave of pure ecstasy. She chose to trust Benita, and she stayed present through both the icy pain and the unexpected laughter. Through that surrender, she experienced the gift of ecstasy in her body, something she never knew was possible.
This same transformation is possible for you. Many others have experienced something similar in HSP Breathwork Retreats. Please join us if you long for a deep, intimate connection with your Radiant Authentic Self.
About Benita A. Esposito
Healing, Growth & Mastery
“Chief Trail Guide” for Highly Sensitive Introverts
on the Hero’s Journey to the Authentic Self.
I’m a licensed psychotherapist, spiritual counselor, life coach, and author of Amazon bestseller, The Gifted Highly Sensitive Introvert: Wisdom for Healing and Expressing Your Radiant Authentic Self. I specialize in fast-tracking deep emotional healing for high-achieving Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs) and introverts. By combining advanced body-based therapies like Brainspotting and Breathwork with a grace-filled Christian perspective, I help you quickly pinpoint limiting patterns so you can experience lasting inner peace without wasting time. When I’m not leading retreats at my home overlooking a lake in the Blue Ridge Mountains, you can find me tending to my flower garden, rowing, or capturing nature through my camera lens.
👉 Ready for your breakthrough? Schedule a Discovery Call to see if our upcoming HSP Retreats are the right fit for your journey.
Photo credits
- Color burst banner photo: marek-piwnicki-5ROkzpZygMY-unsplash
- Benita Esposito’s photo: Larry Webb
“Your Authentic Life. Anything Else is a Compromise.”
Life Coaching and Spiritual Counseling for Sensitive Introverts
on the Hero’s Journey to the Authentic Self
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