Dear Highly Sensitive Introvert,
Since you’ve discovered the research on Highly Sensitive People (HSP), doesn’t it feel great to know that you are not alone … that you’re not weird … that you are a valuable part of society … even when your loved ones and your co-workers don’t understand you? Read more
This is K.L.’s story about his Hero’s Journey to the Authentic Self written when he was 30-something after attending one of Benita Esposito’s HSP Breathwork Retreats. Read more
Drum roll, please!
I’m excited to announce the debut of the paperback version of The Gifted Highly Sensitive Introvert: Wisdom for Emotional Healing and Expressing Your Radiant Authentic Self.
It is my memoir and teaching stories to guide highly sensitive introverts on the journey to the Authentic Self.
The eBook version launched 10/16/2018. Amazon awarded it the Bestseller banner in 9 categories during the first week.
Amazon began posting the #1 New Release banner for the paperback version in 8 categories on 12/3/2018.
If you ever wanted to achieve a cherished goal, but you doubted you could do it, you’ll be inspired by my story.
Most of the time my book sells more copies than When Bad Things Happen to Good People, The Dalai Lama’s Book of Wisdom, and the Whole-Brain Child which was written by one of my teachers.
I thought that if my book received the Bestseller banner, tons of other books must, too. But that’s not the case. Brian Berni, who manages my Amazon ads, explained that it’s rare for a book to become a bestseller.
There are 4 million eBooks on Amazon.
My eBook ranked #3,305 during the first week.
That means that only 3,304 books sold more copies.
Brian says that he’s happy if a new book ranks 20,000. It’s excellent if a book ranks 6,000.
But it’s absolutely amazing for a book to rank 3,000-4,000. Especially for a first-time author who doesn’t use much social media or have a big platform.
How did this success happen?
For years I had hoped that I could write a bestseller, but it seemed like a pipe dream.
It took me two years to write this book. I didn’t feel confident while writing and publishing my book. I changed the title a thousand times. I fretted over learning the technology required to publish and advertise a book on Amazon. There were hundreds of things to study and memorize. But week after week I learned.
I didn’t study writing in school. I’m not an English major. I enrolled in an adult education course on writing once, but I quit the first time the teacher criticized my work. Highly Sensitive Introverts feel stung by criticism. I have dyslexia so I read slowly and I don’t like to read much. Most writers are readers. Not me.
I consulted the guidance of the Holy Spirit every step of the way:
• what topics to include in this book and which to save for another book
• what writing style to use, and how to edit it.
• which self-publishing school to choose. I found several schools that cost $20,000. I refused to spend that kind of money.
• which sub-contractors to hire for editing, proofreading, cover design, formatting, copywriting the book description and ad management.
• I asked for prayer support. One of the women on the prayer team at my church crocheted a white loose-weave scarf with a tiny cross embedded in it. That scarf hung around my neck 24 hours each weekend while I wrote for 20 months.
• The Holy Spirit sent angels who lifted me up. I acknowledge them all in my book.
I did my best to follow instructions from the Self-Publishing School (SPS) founded by Chandler Bolt. He and his staff have the highest integrity. My book coach, Marcy Pusey, was perfect for me because she is a highly sensitive person, too. She deeply understood me and she was so warm-hearted that I was moved to tears. I had tons of questions and I didn’t hesitate to ask every one of them. The SPS online community is warm and friendly. They provided the support that I needed to keep putting one foot in front of the other, especially when I felt discouraged.
*** If you would like to join the Self-Publishing School so you can learn how to write and publish your book, shoot me an email. I’ll arrange for you to receive a sizable discount.
I knew I could write my book. But, I also knew that if I didn’t learn how to market it well, few people would find it. My goal was to reach masses of people to help improve the quality of life on the planet.
The Gifted Highly Sensitive Introvert eBook sold 849 copies in the first month. Some books don’t sell that much in their lifetime. I hope that the release of the paperback will catapult sales.
I had no idea that my book would become a bestseller. None.
But now, my confidence is growing. I can look back and understand what I did to create a bestseller even though I was a first-time author, a babe in the woods.
I hope you feel encouraged by my story. If I did it, you can do it. My book coach told me that 80% of people want to write a book, but only 2% actually do.
Always remember this:
“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now.” ―Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Here’s to your success in achieving your most cherished dreams.
Hop on over to Amazon, and buy your copy of The Gifted Highly Sensitive Introvert. Buy a copy for your sensitive friends and for the family members that you want to understand you.
I’d appreciate it if you would write an Amazon review because great reviews boost the rank of the book. Then more sensitive introverts will find the help they need.
Please share this notice on your social media sites.
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UPDATE April 8, 2022
To date, 8400 copies of my book have been sold across all formats: Kindle, paperback and the audiobook, which I narrated.
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Author: Benita A. Esposito, MA, is a life coach and spiritual counselor. Contact her for a complimentary 10-minute get-acquainted phone chat to schedule a coaching session to catapult your success as a sensitive introvert.
Click here to visit the Book Page for The Gifted Highly Sensitive Introvert.
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“The hardest battle you are ever going to have to fight is the battle to be just you.”
–Leo F. Buscaglia
This book will appeal to all highly sensitive people, but if you are a smart sensitive introvert who has struggled with anxiety, depression, trauma or relationships, you’ll especially relate to my memoir and teaching stories about the Hero’s Journey to the Authentic Self. Read more
This is chapter 5 in my book, The Gifted Highly Sensitive Introvert: Wisdom for Emotional Healing and Expressing Your Radiant Authentic Self.
Search for my ebook and paperback book on Amazon and click the “Look Inside” button to read the first several pages of the book. You can buy it on Amazon.
“The trademark of an empath is feeling and absorbing other people’s emotions and/or physical symptoms because of their high sensitivities. These people filter the world through their intuition. Empaths are big-hearted people and try to relieve the pain of others … suddenly they’re the one feeling drained or upset when they felt fine before.” ~ Dr. Judith Orloff is a New York Times bestselling author and a member of the UCLA psychiatric clinical faculty. Read more
Personal and Spiritual Mastery
Many of us feel upset with the increase of violence on our planet. If you are a highly sensitive person, you may feel the chaos energetically, even though you’re hundreds of miles away from a war, or a mass shooting, or a natural disaster. If you have experienced abuse or trauma, or if you are empathic, your body may feel agitated, setting off a whole string of emotions that you don’t understand. This reaction also occurs when you experience conflicts in your personal life. That’s a description of a typical highly sensitive person … until you develop a mindfulness practice.
When we choose personal and spiritual mastery, it’s like playing a violin. Our instrument needs tuning every time we play. We don’t tune it once and it stays tuned. We practice our scales even though we’ve been playing for years because it helps us stay proficient. We play music that brings us joy, but we also select new pieces that challenge us because we enjoy upgrading our skills. We love the experience of making the violin sing even sweeter. When all the orchestra members increase their skills, the music sparkles.
What can we do in the midst of chaos? We can’t always stop the conflict around us. But instead of feeling helpless, we can do something. We can stop the wars inside ourselves and return to the experience of wholeness every day by using mindfulness.
How do we practice mindfulness? First of all, let’s define it.
Definition of mindfulness: a mental state achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique.
When we get triggered, often we feel angry and frustrated. Sometimes we blame the person who triggered us. We tell ourselves, “If he hadn’t spoken in a stern voice, or if he didn’t look at me with that disapproving facial expression, I wouldn’t have felt angry. It’s his fault.”
Instead of blaming, take a step back and observe your own feelings, thoughts, sensations and reactions. Take responsibility for your perceptions and your reactions. They belong to you. Be curious about what you can learn about yourself. This is the essence of mindfulness.
When you raise your self-awareness, you will be able to see things from a different perspective. You’ll be wiser. You’ll be able to report that part of you was triggered and take responsibility for yourself. Instead of adding fuel to the fire or shrinking away, you’ll be able to stay grounded and centered.
Some spiritual leaders say that it takes only 10% of the whole population to shift the consciousness on the planet. When we develop the ability to stay more centered, we affect the world because we are part of the world, just like one facet of the diamond is part of the whole diamond.
Many of us have spent years doing inner healing. All the work we have done with our families and friends cannot be in vain. It counts, even if we cannot see the immediate impact of our efforts. We can contribute to the wisdom on this planet.
Right now you may be experiencing a resurgence of old issues and old wounds that you thought you had healed. This does not mean that you are backsliding. It means that you have the opportunity to upgrade your mastery level so you can more closely align with your Authentic Self. Wherever distortions still remain, they reveal themselves by bubbling up from your unconscious mind.
When you experience a conflict, ask to be shown the highest level of wisdom. Then summon the courage to act congruently with your insights.
Make a study of the wise use of power. The abuse of power results in violence. There’s a direct relationship between unresolved grief and the abuse of power. When we lose something important to us (including our sense of power or worthiness), or when we lose someone precious to us, vulnerable emotions arise. If we don’t know how to be with our vulnerable emotions, we blame or attack others. Or we shut down in depression, or we get stoic and can’t emotionally connect with our loved ones. Or we harm ourselves. Or we use our favorite addiction.
When we use emotional mastery skills, we can stay present with our own vulnerability while being grounded in our body. We connect with our Authentic Self and the Holy Spirit. We still have a sense of wholeness while we experience the loss. We’re able to make decisions based on the wise use of power.
Conclusion
Personal and spiritual mastery look like this: We are willing to sit with our grief and take responsibility for our disappointment, helplessness or loss. We own it. We observe ourselves non-judgmentally and say, “This is my grief. This is my sorrow. This is my loss.” We are willing to feel it and stop abandoning ourselves. We stop blaming others. We breathe and feel. This practice is called mindfulness.
I encourage you to refine your skills every day so you can play the beautiful music your Authentic Self longs to sing. You are a vital part of the whole symphony. You count. Turn towards your true source of all love, wisdom and power.
Schedule daily mindfulness practices so you increase your personal and spiritual mastery.
Reflections. Now It’s Your Turn.
A Resource for You
I created the guided meditation CD “A Journey into Wholeness” to help people stay grounded, manage difficult emotions, and access spiritual guidance. If you would like to hear a sample and purchase a copy, click here. This is one of many tools I have to share with you.
Contact Information
Contact the author Benita A. Esposito, MA if you would like help to develop your personal and spiritual mastery via individual sessions or intensive retreats. Spiritual counseling is available worldwide via Zoom videoconferences.
Copyright 2017. All rights reserved. The Esposito Institute, Inc.
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This story was written by Violet, a highly sensitive person, after 12 private psychotherapy sessions and a HSP Breathwork Retreat in 2016. Violet (a pseudonym used to protect client confidentiality) gave me permission to share her story. Read more
