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Webinar: Conflict Management Skills for Highly Sensitive People Who Crave Harmony

Highly Sensitive People love peace and harmony. We want everybody to get along and we do a pretty good job of mediating most of the time.

But when we find ourselves in the middle of a situation where people are uncaring or contemptuous, we may flounder. We feel anxious or irritated. Even devastated at times. If we’re not highly trained in Emotional Intelligence skills, we may say things that we wish we hadn’t. Or we get quiet. People get offended. People lash out. People withdraw. All of this hurts.

It may take us longer than we wish to get over a poorly-handled conflict. By the time we do, our relationships may suffer or our career may be damaged.

My first mentor told me: Conflict is a necessary part of intimacy. I didn’t want to hear that, but now I realize it’s true. Knowing how to manage conflict well is one of our most important life skills. It’s the stuff that high-quality relationships are made of.

Everyone: Please email your answer to this question:
What is your most challenging conflict situation?

You can learn how to create meaningful relationships even in the midst of conflict.

I know how important this is because I’ve struggled to learn good conflict management skills for years. I want to pass on what I’ve learned to you so your life is easier than mine has been.

Instead of …

• Complaining repeatedly when your partner doesn’t cooperate with you
• Analyzing what’s wrong with your partner and trying to convince him to change
• Getting quiet and waiting for the storm to pass
• Criticizing your partner or getting defensive

You’ll learn an easy-to-understand template to quickly figure out how to express your thoughts and feelings in a responsible tactful manner. This technique is called “I Messages.”

People will be more likely to open up to you instead of distancing.

You’ll feel more confident and competent to show up as your Authentic Self and speak from your heart while respecting others.

Webinar Format

I’ll give a short lecture that includes a story about how I handled a conflict. Then I’ll coach participants so everyone can learn vicariously. You can make comments and ask questions.

Do you want to get the most out of this webinar?

Volunteer to be coached during this webinar. Two people will be selected for live coaching on this webinar. Email me with a description of your most challenging conflict situation and what makes it so difficult for you.

RECORDING: You may purchase a recording of the webinar for $39.00. Complete the Contact Page and ask me to email the recording link for this webinar. Specify the webinar title.

Make your $39 payment on PayPal.com to Payments@EspositoInstitute.com.

Facilitator: Benita A. Esposito, MA, Licensed Professional Counselor, Life Coach, and Spiritual Counselor. Click here to read Benita’s credentials.

P.S. Benita Esposito’s bestselling memoir and teaching stories, The Gifted Highly Sensitive Introvert: Wisdom for Emotional Healing and Expressing Your Radiant Authentic Self, is available on Amazon.com. View the book video on the home page at www.SensitiveIntrovert.com.

Webinar: Empaths and Highly Sensitive People

How to Set Boundaries to Prevent Overwhelm

We hold a monthly webinar for Highly Sensitive People (HSP’s) on the second Wednesday of the month.

This group is a safe gathering place for HSP’s to receive support from other HSP’s and to experience expert guidance from a Highly Sensitive Therapist, Life Coach and Spiritual Counselor. You’ll gain tools so you can be happier and healthier. And you’ll be inspired by other high-achieving HSP’s personal and professional successes.

This webinar discusses the following items:

• What is an empath?

• How do you set energetic boundaries so you’re not so affected by other’s emotions?

• How can you use your gifts to help people in productive ways and maintain a solid sense of well-being?

• How do you know if you are feeling your own emotions or taking on someone else’s?

• How can you stop assuming too much responsibility for others’ lives?

• What are grounding tools to return to optimal functioning when you get overwhelmed?

• Why is a daily self-care routine essential for highly sensitive people?

RECORDING: You may purchase a recording of the webinar for $39.00. Complete the Contact Page and ask me to email the recording link for this webinar. Specify the webinar title.

Make your $39 payment on PayPal.com to Payments@EspositoInstitute.com.

To learn more about the services I provide for Highly Sensitive People:


1. Preview my bestselling book. Watch my book video at www.SensitiveIntrovert.com.

2. Purchase the eBook or paperback. The audiobook will be released soon on Amazon:

The Gifted Highly Sensitive Introvert: Wisdom for Emotional Healing and Expressing Your Radiant Authentic Self

3. Visit my website: SensitiveIntrovert.com and take the quiz to see if you are a highly sensitive introvert.

Contact me for a complimentary 10-minute phone chat to see if we are a good fit to work together.

About the Facilitator

Benita Esposito, MA, LPC. 
I’m a holistic Licensed Professional Counselor, life coach, ordained minister and a Christian spiritual counselor. I earned a master’s degree in clinical psychology and have been practicing for 4 decades. I see Highly Sensitive People (HSP) adults (individuals and couples) in private sessions in Sandy Springs and Blairsville, GA and via Zoom videoconference worldwide. I also lead weekend retreats for highly sensitive people in the North Georgia mountains and at the beach.

 

Healing Trauma with Breathwork: Abortion and Open Heart Surgery

This story was written by one of my clients who chose to remain anonymous. I’ll call her Sally.

Sally was a smart business leader whom people respected. She felt confident at work, but she had trouble forming fulfilling friendships. She felt empty inside.

When Sally began the Deep Emotional Healing Retreat, she had no idea that her difficulty was rooted in unresolved trauma. This story illustrates how quickly transformation can occur when we do body-based emotional-spiritual healing.

Breathwork accesses unconscious memories that rarely surface in talk therapy. That’s why breathwork is such a powerful therapeutic tool.

Here’s Sally’s story.

For a long time, I had been living in my head and keeping my distance from people. I wanted to get in touch with my spiritual heart. My objectives for the Deep Emotional Healing retreat were to make a deeper connection with myself and others.

During the first breathwork session, I experienced pain and a tight knot in my pelvic area. It was so painful that I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Benita placed her hand on the spot, applied pressure and coached me to breathe through the pain.

I realized that I was angry and agitated. The experience reminded me of the time when I was 20 when my ex-husband forced me to have an abortion against my will.

I experienced great pain, guilt and grief from this experience. I am very angry with myself for allowing someone to have such control over me.

Benita and I decided to have another healing session the second day of the retreat. This is what I experienced during the next breathwork healing session.

We said prayers, played music and everyone sat close to me for support. I started breathing deeply and I felt the painful knot in my stomach. My body started contorting and I had to sit up. People laid their hands on me for support.

I spontaneously shouted, “No, No, No! Leave Me Alone!” And then after a few minutes I screamed, “Help Me, Help Me!” I repeated these words over and over, feeling them deeply. This went on for a long time. Finally, I laid back down and I felt very calm and peaceful.

Benita asked me questions about what happened. I said that I had wanted my daughter here with me in the physical plane. I always knew that this child was a girl. I felt like I was talking to my daughter on a spiritual plane. She explained that she knew that this pregnancy would not reach term, and that we were not going to be together on the physical plane. She said that she is always very close to me and does not blame me in any way. I felt very calm and peaceful after this experience.

I had more insights about this experience during the following week. The feelings, sensations and words that I spoke during the healing session reminded me of another traumatic time in my life.

When I was eight years old, I had open-heart surgery and was in the hospital for several months. It was a terrifying experience. To make matters worse, I was in a training hospital so each morning 10-12 doctors would come into my room. They asked me questions and took blood. I was under an oxygen tent and I would crawl up into the tent and tuck the corners under me. I screamed at them to go away and leave me alone.

It was a very scary feeling of helplessness. It took many years to be able to go to the doctor and get a shot or have them take blood without getting scared and crying.

During the breathwork session, I was curled up like I was in the oxygen tent. I screamed at them to leave me alone. I begged for help like I tried to do when I was eight.

During both of these experiences, I felt great helplessness like I had no control over what was happening to me. But with Benita’s support and the help of the group, I was able to fully process the painful experiences and sensations. I was able to breathe through them and then my body finally released them.

Immediately after the breathwork sessions and now a week later, the physical and emotional pain of these two traumatic experiences no longer haunts me.

I feel a kind of inner peace that I’ve never known before.

* * *

If you’d like to experience deep emotional healing, contact Benita A. Esposito for a complimentary 10-minute phone interview to see if her psychotherapy, life coaching and spiritual counseling is a good fit for you.

You can experience rapid healing in the following retreats: highly sensitive person retreats, breathwork retreats and deep emotional healing retreats.

View the Retreat Schedule: click here.

Benita A. Esposito, MA, Licensed Professional Counselor credentials.

Offices in Atlanta (Sandy Springs) and Blairsville, GA.

Distance counseling and spiritual healing is available via phone and videoconference from the comfort of your own home.

Highly Sensitive Person Retreat

Two days: April 27-28, 2019. North Georgia Mountains, USA

  • Have you ever been told you are too sensitive, just get over it?
  • Do you have intense emotions that fire rapidly and last longer than other people’s?
  • Do you become overwhelmed by conflict and aggressive people?
  • Do you feel distressed when you have too much to do in too little time?
  • Do noisy crowds and social chit chat at networking events irritate you?
You may be a highly sensitive person. Take the quiz.
This retreat is a safe place for Highly Sensitive People to do deep emotional healing and excavate their Authentic Self. All Highly Sensitive People are welcome in this retreat … if you are an introvert, extrovert, or an ambivert.
Join us!
I’ll help you understand the highly sensitive person trait so you can increase your self-worth and confidence. I’ll help you enjoy more fulfilling relationships and create your career so it is an expression of your soul.
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Do you want to know more before applying for this retreat?
You may read my personal stories, trials and triumphs around being a Highly Sensitive Person in my book: The Gifted Highly Sensitive Introvert.  Click here to Buy it on Amazon.

The Research

A new personality type emerged from Dr. Elaine Aron’s groundbreaking psychological research: the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). I particularly love counseling and coaching highly sensitive people because I am one.

Only 20% of the population is highly sensitive. That means 80% of the population is wired differently than we are. No wonder we feel misunderstood.

Photo by Benita A Esposito

Click here to read my personal story about being a Highly Sensitive Person.

Gifts of the Highly Sensitive Person
Conscientious and responsible, we are deeply moved by the beauty of Nature and the arts. We are touched by the feelings of those around us. We’re troubled by conflict, and we want to decrease the violence in a world. Our intuition tells us what needs to be done to help people feel comfortable, and we truly want what is best for everyone. Sometimes we can predict the future. We easily seeing outcomes that others can’t see. We love deeply and passionately. When emotional intimacy is combined with sexual intimacy in a loving healthy committed relationship, there’s nothing better. We are happy and our creative juices are set free. A world filled with harmony, mutual respect and creativity sounds just right to us.

Happy mature woman outdoors in the parkChallenges of the Highly Sensitive Person
It’s easy to feel what other people feel, and we can understand people at depth. But, we may feel like we are losing ourselves in a relationship, especially if people don’t nurture us in return. Some of us highly sensitive people actually take on the pain of others, which helps them heal, but leaves us exhausted. If you have this type of sensitivity, you are an “empath” like I am. Before we understand this about ourselves, we may not know that we are taking on emotions that belong to others.

Because we are so sensitive, we need to have daily relaxation just to stay centered. We need to meditate to restore our inner peace and regain energy. In a world that values high productivity and undervalues naps, HSPs can get burned out if we don’t take a stand for good self-care. That includes healthy food and exercise.

Some of us have trouble standing up for ourselves because we are so empathetic to the discomfort of others. We want to please others to keep the peace. Or, ironically, we can get harsh and aggressive if we have not yet mastered the art of setting boundaries in a tactful way. We can feel like a ball tossed around on turbulent ocean waves, unable to find a stable base inside ourselves. We might try to get family members to change so we can feel calm inside. But it rarely works, even though we may use that approach for years before we become exhausted. We need to commit to cultivating inner peace no matter what is happening on the outside.

Too much stimulation from the environment stresses us. We’re like cats whose sensitive whiskers and ears that sense tiny movements all around us. We tend to be light sleepers and insomnia is common especially when traveling and sleeping in strange environments.

Anxiety and depression are familiar especially if our loving relationships are not nurturing for us, or if we grew up in a dysfunctional family.

Highly Sensitive People don’t like:

  • People yelling at us
  • Conflicts that aren’t resolved
  • Bosses making too many demands
  • Loud noises, crowds and violent movies
  • Rush hour at high speeds, bumper to bumper traffic
  • Temperatures that are too cold or too hot
  • Odors and chemicals that don’t bother 80% of the population.

Needs of the Highly Sensitive Person

Highly sensitive people need authentic, genuine emotional connections more than most people. We feel empty inside when we don’t get it. There’s a deep ache. We need quiet time to go inside. Our spirituality is important to us. We need to learn how to regulate our emotions when we’re stressed. We need beauty. We need to meditate. We need to slow down. We need to be creative. We need help to learn how to manage our highly sensitive qualities.

We have incredible gifts to help people and to make the world a better place. We are counselors, healers, artists, writers, philosophers, teachers and pastors. We facilitate healing for people, and we understand people at depth. We’re intuitive and spiritual. We must take good care of ourselves, or we have a high price to pay, higher than most. When not balanced, we get irritable, sick, exhausted, anxious, depressed or feel physical pain. Like Goldie Locks in the story of the three bears, we like our porridge not too hot, not too cold, but just right.

Breathwork is one of the primary transformational healing process used in this retreat.  It’s intense and deep so you’re likely to experience impressive results. We work directly with the body to access emotional memory, sometimes as far back as in-utero and infancy. We want to heal the very beginning of life-long patterns so you can be free.

Please read all these articles before applying for this retreat.

  1. Breathwork Description
  2. Breathwork Client Anecdotes
  3. Breathwork Q&A
  4. Breathwork Testimonials

Prerequisites for the Retreat

  1. Attend a minimum of three private sessions. There is an additional fee for these sessions. We can meet at my Atlanta or Blairsville, Georgia office. Or meet via phone or videoconference.
  2. Read all the Breathwork articles above.

Photo credit: Benita A. Esposito. Hiawassee, GA

Location: Young Harris, Georgia. Overlooking Lake Chatuge and the Blue Ridge Mountains.

Two hours from Atlanta, Chattanooga and Asheville.

Schedule

Saturday and Sunday
Arrive at 9:00-9:15am
Group 9:30am – 12:30pm
Break  12:30 – 2:30pm
Group  2:30 – 5:30pm
Saturday evening: group dinner

Please be flexible on the ending time to accommodate the needs of the group. We will take one long break during the afternoon to walk at the lake, meditate, nap or deepen friendships. It’s your choice.

Retreat Tuition for two full days: $595.00

Register Now: This is a small group so you will get plenty of personal attention. Space allows for 6 people.

Pre-requisite: Minimum of 3 private sessions.

Click here for a list of Lodging and Restaurants.

Contact me, Benita A. Esposito, MA,  Licensed Professional Counselor, for a complimentary 10-minute phone interview.

Facilitator: Benita A. Esposito Credentials. Masters degree in Clinical Psychology and four decades experience.

Read more about the challenges and gifts of the Highly Sensitive Person in these books:

  1. The Gifted Highly Sensitive Introvert by Benita A Esposito
  2. The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine Aron
  3. The Highly Sensitive Person in Love by Elaine Aron
  4. The Highly Sensitive Child by Elaine Aron

P.S. If you’re interested in receiving individual counseling or life coaching … in-person, on the phone, or via videoconference … you can start by contacting me for a complimentary 10-minute interview. I’m happy to help!

Refund Policy

All refund requests must be made via email. Complete the contact form.

• 30 or more days before the retreat, there will be a full refund minus a $50 processing fee.

• No refunds 0 – 29 days before the retreat, but you may apply your fee to private sessions or another retreat within 1 year, minus a $50 fee.

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Highly Sensitive Introverts’ Strengths and Struggles

This is chapter 3 from the book by Benita A. Esposito, MA, LPC:

The Gifted Highly Sensitive Introvert: Wisdom for Emotional Healing and Expressing Your Radiant Authentic Self Read more

Healing Hurtful Relationship Patterns with Breathwork

Josephine is a 30-something highly sensitive person. Kind, creative and smart, she had an unconscious habit of choosing men who hurt her. This is her story told in her own words. It shows how we worked together in spiritual counseling to end a pattern of abuse so she could become her radiant Authentic Self. Read more

3 Steps to Creating Your Authentic Life

Here’s one of my life stories which illustrates 3 steps you can take to create your Authentic Life and make your dreams come true as a highly sensitive person.

Step #1: Heal Your Emotional Wounds so You Can Excavate Your Authentic Self.

It was the late 1990’s and I had just ended an emotionally abusive relationship. I was exhausted from all the conflicts. My two Siamese cats were dying. That may not sound like a big deal to you, but they were my steadfast cherished friends for 14 and 16 years. They welcomed me home every day and slept with me every night. They were there for me when no one else was. Peri-menopausal mood swings, tears, hot flashes and insomnia were my daily companions.

I didn’t know it at the time, but these crises were just what this highly sensitive person needed to help birth her Authentic Self.

I had already done 20 years of deep personal growth work, but I still had not touched the core of my emotional pain that desperately called for healing.

The Dark Night of the Soul lasted three years. I couldn’t get out of it no matter how hard I tried. The good news was that my spirit was leading, even though my personality didn’t know it.

St. John of the Cross coined the term, “The Dark Night of the Soul,” to describe a time of feeling lost and full of despair. It’s a time when our old coping strategies don’t work any more. It feels like hell because our known identity is disintegrating. It’s scary because we can’t hang onto what we think we need for security.

After much anguish in the Dark Night of the Soul, we’ll connect intimately with our spirit and with the Holy Spirit.

Psychologists call the Dark Night of the Soul depression. But for me, it was an intentional time of deep searching to find my Authentic Self and an intimate relationship with my Sacred Inner Beloved, the romantic name I gave to the Holy Spirit.

I examined my insecurities instead of striving for success or romance.

I took a sabbatical from dating because I realized that romantic relationships were the main way I avoided the deep level of emotional insecurity way down deep inside myself. If I was in a romantic relationship, I could cover up the deep-seated emotional insecurity with hope. Hope that the relationship would fulfill all my dreams.

Hope and romance had become my drugs of choice.

My muscles ached every day and I was exhausted. I awakened many nights with my body stiff from fear. I couldn’t relax even though I meditated two hours a day.  My inner voice told me to walk every morning no matter what, so I’d take myself to Lake Lanier and walk in the park. The connection with Nature soothed me at least for a little while.

My greatest desire was to stay conscious through my pain and to face my emotional insecurity so that I could develop self-love. I needed to feel intimacy with all of myself, especially with the part of me who felt so insecure. I intended to heal the old wounds and coping patterns so my Authentic Self could emerge.

Every couple of weeks, I’d get a massage. Miera created a safe place for me to unwind and process the memories that bubbled to the surface. I remembered how I wanted to be loved by my father as a little girl. I felt that pain and processed it.

I processed the ache of friendships and romantic relationships gone sour. I dealt with my need for perfection that covered up lack of self-love. I felt safe under Miera’s nurturing hands. She held sacred space for me to process the emotional anguish. The pain oozed to the surface as she touched my muscles. Tears soaked the face cradle session after session.

Step 2: “Form a Vision Anchored in Your Heart.”  

As the tears subsided in the massage sessions, the same vision arose in my mind time after time.  I saw a cabin in the woods surrounded by tall trees. It was private. It was safe. I felt at peace.

After the massages would end, I would return to my normal daily activity. I accepted the fact that I lived in the city. But I wanted to live two hours north, tucked in the woods of the North Georgia Mountains overlooking Lake Chatuge. I didn’t see any way I could afford to live there.

For a long time I didn’t choose to act on the vision. I wasn’t willing to give up the financial security I knew. I settled for a good life, but it didn’t fully feed my spirit.

As the weeks passed, the vision of the cabin in the woods appeared again and again. I realized that God was showing me a particular environment that would allow me to heal and thrive. I knew the vision was from God because it always occurred after my mind-chatter had quieted down, and I felt at peace. I am a highly sensitive person, and highly sensitive people thrive in quiet beautiful Nature sanctuaries.

I incubated for three years in the Dark Night of the Soul, accessing all the deep layers of pain built up like sedimentary rock.

Deep emotional intimacy grew between my personality self, my spirit and the Holy Spirit. I call this my relationship with My Sacred Inner Beloved.

I regained my energy, and the emotional and physical pain subsided.

I designed the blue print for my house in the woods overlooking the lake. After working on it daily for over 6 months, a crisis occurred. My father suddenly died. Reeling from the grief, my heart opened in a way it never had. It hit me like a ton of bricks that I wouldn’t live forever either, and I assessed the quality of my life. Everything was great except I didn’t live in the mountains overlooking the lake, surrounded by the tall trees.

Step 3: Take the Risk to Act on Your Vision.

After praying with my friends, I decided to take the risk to build my dream home. I realized that my fears about not having enough money would never go away. I had to proceed in the direction of my dream, taking one step at a time. I asked God to reveal the next step, day after day.

It’s been ten years now, and I am so grateful every time I look out my living room windows at the lake and mountains and the tall trees. No matter what is going on in my life, stressful or blissful, I am happy living in my beautiful Nature sanctuary.

Now It’s Your Turn.

  1. Find someone you trust to help you emotionally heal. Examine your most deeply held values and dreams. Intend to open to your Authentic Self and to God. I’m here to help you heal at the deepest level so you can let go of coping patterns that once helped you survive, but now limit your success. I’ll help you access to the most enduring love of all, the love of God.
  1. Meditate daily, long enough to experience deep inner peace. Invest the time. Don’t skip this step. Listen to the still small voice inside yourself. Join the on-going conversation already in progress, in your innermost being.  I produced the CD, “A Journey into Wholeness” to help you do this.
  1. Find healers who understand the mind-body-spirit connection. Heal your emotions and your body. I highly recommend counseling and life coaching along with bodywork. Tight muscles hold unresolved emotional memories that set up old coping patterns.
  2. Attend weekend retreats so you have plenty of time to dive deep into your emotional pain and develop the strength to be your Authentic Self.

By doing practices such as these, you will be shown the visions anchored in your heart. You, too, will be able to move in the direction of your fondest dreams.

* * * *

If you want help to excavate your Authentic Self and create your fondest dreams, I’m here to help.

CONTACT INFO

  1. Attend a Highly Sensitive Person Retreat. Click here for the schedule.
  2. Contact me for Professional Counseling in Blairsville, GA and Atlanta, GA
  3. If you live outside Georgia, contact me for Life Coaching and Spiritual Counseling via videoconference, anywhere in the world.

Life Coaching and Spiritual Counseling: www.SensitiveIntrovert.com

Psychotherapy: www.Flourishing-Lives.com

Copyright 2017. The Esposito Institute, Inc. All rights reserved.